Low self esteem

Discussion in 'Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting' started by tbfyb, Nov 16, 2017.

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  1. I’m going to Raleigh in March 18’ and at first I was so excited but now it’s getting closer day by day and I’ve started to panic and think: what if it isn’t for me? I’ve always battled with my confidence as I think most teenagers have but recently in between all the fitness running folding n cleaning my stuff in preparation, I’ve started to think if I’ll really fit in at Raleigh. I’m 17 n I’ve never lived away from my home and Cornwall is another world away from Manchester so I can’t really quit when I’m there but if it all gets too much I’ll be on my own more or less. Should I just stick at it or cancel my application and wait till I’m older, it’s definitely the life I want but I’m not sure if I’ll make it through the 10 weeks without cracking up. I know it’s only 10 weeks but 10 week is a long time when you’re not happy. It doesn’t help the fact I know someone who’s gone to Raleigh last week and put on Facebook “been here a few hours already wanna leave”.
    Thanks in advance
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  2. It’s a big change for anyone and no one can really be fully prepared but I would say you should go and give it a good chance, after a few days you get into full uniform and routine. Then before you know it you’re passing out
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  3. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    Sam, relax.

    Everyone has doubts, we all did. I do 36 years later. If it's not for you, you can quit. But, at least give it a go, it could well be the making of you.
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  4. :( Chin up Sammy lad, I think pretty much everyone goes through the same feelings before they join! And the same feelings when you get to Raleigh. It’s such a huge change, it’s bound to rack you to your core. Just try and keep a perspective. I’ll help you with a wee dit..... 12 years ago a mate of mine got as far as the train to Raleigh to start training. He had one of these doubtful moments on the train and got off half way there, called up and said he’d changed his mind and wasn’t coming. We gave him so much grief and banter about it for a few years, but it’s pretty much all forgotten now. Or so I thought. Last week he told me it’s still his biggest regret - that he wishes he’d at least given it a try for a couple of weeks. You’re not too young. It’s not impossible to leave if your fears come to fruition (especially if you’re under 18). The recruitment process would have weeded you out if you weren’t suitable. There will be bad days, but maybe there’ll be great ones too. Keep the faith my friend and maybe I’ll see you in the Fleet soon ;)
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  5. Sam, worry ye not. We've all been through those feelings.

    Nothing wrong with feeling apprehensive. Just give it your best, its all you can do.

    Best of luck and most importantly. enjoy it.
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  6. One of my lot legged it because he was told that most of his hair had to come off.
    We was all either long haired scumbags or normal kids back in the Jurassic period when I first got driven through the gates in the back of a three tonner.
    Stress not! I was bullied to **** at school because my dad worked on the bins and I was an "only kid" to boot, so do what I did.
    Leave whatever self esteem you get to Raleigh with at the main gate and fill your head with an updated version as you go past the barrier.
    Me? Did 22 years....mostly underwater and everyone on this site will tell you that I am as sane as the day I signed the Official Secrets Act.....then again you could just say bollocks to it get a window cleaning round.

    All the best,

    Billy with no mates. Whatsoever.
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  7. Thanks for all the comments lads I really appreciate it. Gonna definitely go through with it not only because it’s been my dream since I saw an advert for it when I was 8 but because realistically there’s no other job I’d enjoy. Thanks again for all the comments means a lot
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  8. Cornwall's another world away from everywhere :)
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  9. Oi :mad:

    (but a fair comment)
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  10. Oh - I forgot about Raleigh being in Cornwall. Did you know that
    it's not possible to convict a murderer in Cornwall using DNA as
    evidence, because every fu**er has got the same one?
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  11. Here's another idea. If you (or anyone else) wants to "de-stress" without consuming large
    amounts of alcohol or going nuts in the gym - may I suggest a bimble off camp to the
    extensive grounds of Antony House? The weather should be reasonable in March and
    beyond, so y'can pack up a picnic (seriously...why the f*ck not), top up your phone from
    I-Tunes and veg out for a Sunday afternoon. National Trust places 'aint just for Zimmer
    frame owners y'know.


    (Get a bit of culture in your life.)
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  12. Looks familiar
  13. Serious question though, would it be seen in a better light for a 17 year old with doubts to ask to delay for a year, saying that he felt he needed time to grow up a bit, or just go, potentially love it, so great, or potentially hate it and quit from within training. How would a reapplication be viewed in each of those scenarios say in a year's time?
  14. remember every one in your class will be in the same boat, some will blag better than others, I had doubts for the first 23years the last one was a breeze
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  15. I would say "no" personally - go for what you want at 17. I have two grandsons, one 19 and one 21. The 19
    year old got chucked out of home and resides with us jobless. WolfPackLeader has taken to putting a
    hot water bottle in his bed every fu**ing night for when he comes home. She's just given him £80 of my
    money (part of a Gumtree sale of unwanted radiators), and the other one is rocking up home from Bristol
    today for the weekend, and he'll be treated like the baby Jesus as well....it's bizarre. I have NO DOUBT that
    the remaining cash from the Gumtree sale will be be trousered by him and quite frankly it does my crust in.

    Take the plunge and don't forget there's very little difference between 17 and 18. The two loafing bleeders in
    my house should take note of how many "teens" enter military service.

    Mine can't unfortunately because one is colour blind and the other claims to suffer from A.D.H.D.

    Pack a bag. You're going to Raleigh mate.
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  16. I recently investigated my family tree, turns out it's a straight line....
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  17. Then again, perhaps take note of the higher failure rate for the younger recruits apparently. Just going on what @Ninja_Stoker has often said. Maybe different for Lympstone compared to Raleigh? I think being as sure as you can be of what you want when you start is helpful. Nerves are normal, serious doubt about what you want might be a sign to give yourself some time.
  18. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    @tbfyb many on this site joined at 15 or 16 years old, no internet or social media to get advice from. Things were a lot harder (both in and out of the RN) but we survived. No mobile phones, in fact when I joined most homes didn't have a landline telephone so very little contact with home. Grasp the opportunity with both hands, even if you only stay in for 4 or 5 years, you will come out with a lot of experiences which will equip you to more than compete in the civvy world. Good luck.
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  19. See? Spoilt for choice. Should I go or should I stay?

    p.s. Just found the photo from my first ever I.D. card.


    God I was skin and essence back then.
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  20. my parents had a phone installed after I joined the mob, some hope I may call home, normally 3am worse for wear? They never seemed to grumble, one time home my old man says your up early, early I say I only just got home, few hour kip then DTS.
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2017
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