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Lollipop

fishhead

War Hero
The wife was trying to be sexy for me last night. When I came up the stairs, I found her lying naked on the bed, licking a lollipop.
Then she slipped it up her fanny...
I said, "Careful with that, love. You'll need it to help the children across the road tomorrow..."
 

Dusty70

War Hero
I went to bed with this monster, nothing i did seemed to arouse her, I was feeling under the bed when I came across a massive marrow - so I rammed it up there..................................ooooh she said, I do like a bit of finger before the real thing...................

I know - coat - sod off
 

Dusty70

War Hero
Geezer goes to the Doctor...............Doc, my balls have turned brown, he has a look, never seen anything like it, calls in his Partner and the Nurse and they are non plussed - so they all get together and chat it through

Bloke leaves the Docs and thinks I'll have a couple of beers to calm myself down after that fright

Gets home and his missus starts on him - you've been down the pub again whilst I've been looking after the kids, doing the ironing and washing, cooking the dinner and cleaning - I don't have enough time to wipe my arse

Ahhhh he said, I wanted to have a word with you about that..................................

already got coat on - see above
 

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