Navy Net - Royal Navy Community

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Lockdown Dits

Stirlin

War Hero
Mr Hyde
Never know when he will appear , triggered by 20% booze and 80% of my worst enemy...adrenalin.
September 2012 had a shaving rash so slapped in to grow and as winter was coming after a month I decided to keep it also growing what is left of my hair.
Last beard I had was browny grey , this time it was mostly white with strands of grey and come february I looked a right twat but LIGAF , think a 6 ft – 1'' Uncle Albert and you would be spot on. I have/had 6 elder brothers , Peter the second eldest of the family died in 2014 , me and Pete got on but the only one I had a lot in common with was John , 8 yrs my senior and had been living in the Leigh/Wigan area for some 40 yrs as that was where his wife hailed from. John was moving back to York close to the village where we were all born and bred , just before he moved he paid a visit and we had some scran and a pint in my former local from the 80's where I now live.
I enjoyed the atmosphere in the Black Bull and Phyll my SIL remarked about the extensive menu and I thought it would be a good idea to pop in next day to sample some more of the grub....and the next , and the next.
John moved and went up to see his new gaff , in the middle of a forest that had been an ammunition dump in WW2 for the nearby RAF base , one of those luxury holiday homes where they could live all year as they spent a lot of free time tootling about in their motorhome so were exempt the usual 10 month residency rule.
Having my mate and confidant back was a real boost....to my adrenalin.
I fear no one unless they carry a gun , apart from Mr Hyde , I do not know he is there,
I have no control over him and he is a threat to my life , I will state at this point that I remember EVERYTHING he does WHEN he has gone , He plans everything in great detail , from now on till recovery I will speak as him.
Ages since I went for a pint in the evening so will go to Black bull on friday.
Will enter and buy a pint then visit juke box and select any tune then go to bar and ask them to turn it up a bit , back to box and put £2 in , select Frank Sinatra , Tony Bennet , Nat King Cole , Ella Fitzgerald , Matt Munro, Glenn Miller , Dean Martin and last but not least GALVANISE by Chemical Brothers , by tune 4 youngsters should be at box to try to gag the flow of old tunes but as it goes in sequence of tunes selected they will have to wait . Will dress in jeans and v neck T shirt , heavy leather overcoat and my best bulled boots. Out , stut as Travolta , in , place heaving , scran to the right , bar punters to left. Pint , box , bar , box , far end of bar by dartboard where it is less busy and gaze out of window but have full view of bar from window reflection . Pint , tab shack , empty, tab shack , arsehole berating his mate about him not knowing anything about Hong Kong , target. Pint , as predicted money into box from youngsters . Tab shack , same arsehole now spouting bollocks about his way with women , on leaving '' With your looks you must be fcuking joking ''.
At last GALVANISE , turn and look at young uns , pint off , out.
Down to Beeswing , empty apart from Barry D , pint of Drydock , nectar , banter with Barry , out for tab , pint . Back to Black Bull , still busy and back to my spot.
Newcomer near my spot has had enough and loud profanity , gaze at the back of his head till his mate gives him the word , '' YES ? '' '' STFU with the profanity ''
Nobhead tells passing glass collect that I am trouble , enter pisshouse and wait , nowt, tab shack , nowt. Pint , nobhead quiet but fidgeting , tab , home.
Bed , plan.
Royal Oak in town , pot of tea , pint , Student bar , pint , Shoulder of Mutton , Brigadier Gerard , Magnet Inn . home , plan.
 

Stirlin

War Hero
Dr Jekyll is a really nice bloke , ask Wightsparker , Rummers or Bob , just disappears when it is his round . :)
Will not go into the trauma I caused the site back in April 2013 as most of you had to put up with it and I was rightly given 12 laceholes by Good/Bad Co.
More from Mr Hyde later
 

Stirlin

War Hero
Royal Oak , punter has a pot of tea and gives me the nod , home base now.
Pot of tea, 4 old geezers banter , ripping the shit out of each other , find myself laffin
Pint , tab and barman joins me '' Not seen you in here before '' '' Was a regular when Dave Smith had it '' '' Broke the mould when they made him'' ''Aye ''
Deffo home base , 4 pints already , home. No sleep , on net , order Bucketheads single I've wanted for yonks. 4 t shirts from cotton traders .
Royal Oak , '' Tea ?'' '' Aye '' , geezer comes in I cannot stand. RAGE . Offski and walk it off , back in , barman tabbing '' Want one of these '' , brill , a chestcutter rollup. Bugger , 6 pints , home. Bugger , sleep in till 12 . Royal Oak , punter wants a convo.....out and walk it off. 4 pints , home. Royal Oak , good day , home.
T shirts arrive , pile of shit , bin.
Spot social worker who visited me in cell , block his path , no recognition , block him again. Wrong move , he enters Fossgate , down Piccadilly running , across Merchant gate and up Fossgate now ramming speed walking , recognition yet Mr ?
2 paces out break off. Royal Oak , celebration.
Beard off and hair cut , strutt to Royal Oak , barman taking the piss aahhh.
Credit card bill , WHAT somebody hacked my accou...........................................

Recovery
Seeing credit card bill.was the shock that kicked the brain into realisation that I had had another breakdown , I had bought the Bucketheads single twice and bought the album containing the single , cash out every day as I was on Autopilot , a routine , all planned and executed , bank account was empty and credit was close to limit , £ 670 in about 9 days. Phoned Geoff and we went to Royal Oak to sort it out
barman '' Part timer is in , Tea ? '' Old Peculiar for me and Theakstons best for him''
Sorted we had some scran and Geoff off home . Went into Student bar and while I was waiting to be served I spotted my image amongst others on the Pubwatch alert board with full beard and hair , almost snotted trying not to laff.
Royal Oak was not on Pubwatch roster as it is a decent pub with good punters so no doorstaff needed and I had been no trouble in there, had been barred from about 20 pubs probably same night I had been in Black Bull.
A couple of mild scares since and touch wood it is gone , usually Jan/Feb time I drop into depression and give The Rook a miss but this year it has all been good.
Dr Jeykel probably knew lockdown was coming.

Thanks for reading , where are your dits on stuff .
 

Dusty70

War Hero
A dit would sound piss poor in relation to your posts Stirl, most of us ,thankfully, don't go through what you do so congrats on coming out the other side
 

Stirlin

War Hero
Terror Barracks in Singers dining hall , best scran I ever had in the mob , LEP chefs.....at dinner time there was the usual fish dish , 2 meat dishes and one other summat like ravioli or my favorite of a base of mince topped with a huge wodge of steamed suet. Curry bar and omelette bar where you chose your filling and what seemed like a 12 egg jobby with loads of your fill then go to main counter for chips/mash. then duff.

Suppertime it could be steaks or some other treat and pud , dinner or suppertime you turned right out of dining hall and a few paces to gopher shop for ice cream flouts or just a gopher.
Happy days.
 

skyvet

GCM
Terror Barracks in Singers dining hall , best scran I ever had in the mob , LEP chefs.....at dinner time there was the usual fish dish , 2 meat dishes and one other summat like ravioli or my favorite of a base of mince topped with a huge wodge of steamed suet. Curry bar and omelette bar where you chose your filling and what seemed like a 12 egg jobby with loads of your fill then go to main counter for chips/mash. then duff.

Suppertime it could be steaks or some other treat and pud , dinner or suppertime you turned right out of dining hall and a few paces to gopher shop for ice cream flouts or just a gopher.
Happy days.
Couldn't agree more Stirlin! I've never tasted an omelette better than the ones the chefs served up. It's a wonder the chefs weren't drafted to the wardroom galley! :)
 

Dusty70

War Hero
Agreed + strawberry, vanilla and chocolate ice cold milks in the morning off the geezer on the jetty to sort your sh*t out after getting back from Boogis Street 5 mins before turn to (4 week refit and decockying ships co moved into Terror)

Freshly washed and pressed 8s courtesy of 'who wanna da fuckin a peanut'
 

fishhead

War Hero
We hardly ever went to sample the delights of Terror galley. Secure 1300 hours Armada club for DTS 1315 hours,Retire to inboard accommodation to sleep it off on completion. Wake up, bath and dobes, carry on to the Vill or downtown Singas for further refreshment and evening meal.
 

Stirlin

War Hero
As said adrenalin is my worst enemy , I had expected summat during my ongoing task of turning my garden into a bygone era train station but everything is ok. Jan /Feb is usually a bad time most years but 2020 has been good and cannot wait for final outcome of project. Today started on the base for shed which will be ticket office and poured concrete will arrive next week.

New signage picked up yesterday.....
-
tr.jpg
 

janner

MIA
Book Reviewer
I'm just hoping there's a part open window and it dries to a nice pebble dash finish before the owner get's back :D
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
MoD_RSS 'Lockdown was the only way to stop the NHS being broken' - The Times Weekend Essay MoD News 0
L Face to Face Medical - Covid Lockdown? Joining the Royal Navy 0
MoD_RSS New guidance to support safe care home visits during lockdown MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Leeds Youth Justice Service lockdown challenge MoD News 0
D Next lockdown coming soon? The Gash Barge 12
MoD_RSS We’re hooked! People across England flock to fishing hotspots to enhance post-lockdown wellbeing MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Pausing of lockdown easements in Blackburn with Darwen, and Luton MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Don’t get Petfished: Vets and celebrities lead public warnings against ‘cruel and opportunist’ lockdown pet sellers  MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Lockdown restrictions lifted in some areas of Leicestershire MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Local lockdown measures to continue in Leicester with modifications MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Projects hit the ground running post-lockdown MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Leicestershire coronavirus lockdown: areas and changes MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Stay safe around rivers: warning as lockdown eased and temperatures soar MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Dounreay cash reaches groups in need during Coronavirus lockdown MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Fitness Focus at home during lockdown MoD News 0
MoD_RSS PM announces easing of lockdown restrictions: 23 June 2020 MoD News 0
MoD_RSS PM: Six people can meet outside under new measures to ease lockdown MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Helping to tackle lockdown waste crimes in the North East MoD News 0
soleil Forces News: "How Is The Defence Animal Training Regiment Working During Lockdown?" Current Affairs 1
soleil ITV "Advice From A Submarine Captain: Six Lessons On How To Cope With Lockdown" Submariners 4
MoD_RSS Leaving lockdown together: Why we are better united against coronavirus MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Leave lockdown in lockstep MoD News 0
MoD_RSS North Wales ‘Sofa Singers’ founder wins PM award for virtual lockdown choir MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Digital minister urges parents to follow new guidance to keep children safe online during lockdown MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Government launches plan to tackle loneliness during coronavirus lockdown MoD News 0
J Ingrown toenail - lockdown Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting 1
MoD_RSS The Dawn Chorus: tune into Nature during lockdown MoD News 0
MoD_RSS Governor Dakin's radio address: additional short-term lockdown measures over Easter holiday MoD News 0
RedShirt Leave during lockdown UPO/Careers Office 21
BreathingOutOnTheWayUp Now the former TURBULENT CO adds his advice on surviving lockdown. Submariners 19
SONAR-BENDER Lockdown binge watching ideas..... Diamond Lil's 208
soleil Daily Record: "Royal Navy Crew Salute NHS Staff On River Clyde In Show Of Thanks Amidst Coronavirus Lockdown" The Fleet 0
soleil RN Website: Dits Required History 1
alexissonice Raleigh Dits The Gash Barge 10
A Spinning dits of daring do................ Diamond Lil's 19
Ollie-O My Grandad's Salty Dits The Book Club 2
Blackrat A Collection of Classic Dits RR Greatest Threads 32
Rumrat Revolving and repeating dits. Diamond Lil's 12
BreathingOutOnTheWayUp WW2 dits at The Daily Telegraph History 0
oldseadog One of my classic dits Nautical Jokes 0
digger84 2 Deck Dits. The Quarterdeck 33
Merlin28 Spin me your dits..... RR Greatest Threads 77
M Training Dits The Corps 42
T Made up funny dits. Diamond Lil's 15
Sparrowhawk01 Best dear john dits Diamond Lil's 6
C Crap dits Diamond Lil's 48
R Dockyard Dits The Quarterdeck 15
T Dits on Notice Boards The Gash Barge 0
AfterSSE Some of the dits this man could tell. History 1
Seaweed SUEZ! HM's 150th Minesweeping Squadron and other dits. History 3
Similar threads


















































Latest Threads

Top