Local 'characters'.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Shakey, Apr 17, 2007.

Welcome to the Navy Net aka Rum Ration

The UK's largest and busiest UNofficial RN website.

The heart of the site is the forum area, including:

  1. Anyone got any daft dits about local mentalists?

    For example, I knew a lad who's dad was called Sydney. He was retired and a piss head. Think 8 Ace from Viz comic.

    One afternoon he came in from the pub and boarded up the bedroom window 'cos the curtains let too much light in when he was having his afternoon kip.

    Also, his missus came in from work once to find the bedroom furniture all smashed up 'for firewood'.

    They had gas central heating.....

    He also used to go through a block of lard a week. Half of it on bread to eat, the other half used as hair wax!
     
  2. There's a university professor near where I live, about 60 years old, who has a long scruffy beard and goes around wearing a woman's skirt.

    Not a kilt. An actual woman's skirt, with tights etc etc.

    People look at him and then look away, slightly embarrassed, and nobody ever seems to question him about why he does it. He must be intelligent so maybe he's trying to prove some sort of point.

    Doesn't stop him from being a nutcase though, for always wearing a skirt in public.
     
  3. Sure he wasn't a bootneck in a former life?? :lol: :lol:
     
  4. That weirdo naked rambler guy is an ex Bootie !
    anythings possible!!
     
  5. With a love of Laura Ashley prints nuts??? :lol: :p xx
     
  6. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    We had the naked rambler pop into our local still naked whilst yomping across the country....quite a funny bloke really, and he caused no offence..mind you we're all p1ssheads down yer.
     
  7. I doff my lid to him.
    He sticks to his principles no matter how many times he gets lifted!
     
  8. I prefer the mighty MONSOON clothing personally. The cloth gives off a silky texture when placed against the skin!! :lol: :lol:
     
  9. A plumber I knew installed a bog right next to his bed and supaglued a large patch of wet-n-dry on the wall to strike his matches while enjoying a tab.
     
  10. We had thong man round our way who was a skinny leathery old sod with (as his name suggests) a leather thong on and nothing else. He used to dance around the town center shouting "Repent" until the local kids chased him off and he was never seen again. I thought he was a good lad.
     
  11. I lived in Stevenage for a bit when i was a kid, there was a bloke who we knew as "mad barry" - a skinny, grubby looking bloke probably in is 30's - who used to be seen all over the town on his 1970's raleigh racer bike. He often used to do sums (yes, as in maths) in chalk on the underpass walls.

    last time I was down these to see my sister (about a year ago) I saw him at the shops outside my niece's school with a bottle of white ace.



    theres a bloke that lives on the same estate as my mate, mid 50's scruffy looking bloke, seen wandering the streets in a pair of *huge* brown brogues, no socks and sweat pants that are about 6" too short...
     
  12. chieftiff

    chieftiff War Hero Moderator

    I used to have an old fella who cycled past our house every evening with a fishing pole, the pole was strapped to his cross bar and made the bike look about 12" long. He was a lovely old bloke always said "good evening lad" as he cycled past on his way to the river near to Coypool in Plympton.

    I joined HMS Raleigh and this absolute nutter of a Gunnery Officer ripped me a new arsehole for not saluting him, I didn't even see him he was about 500 yards away, guess who it was? His nickname was shovelface: mad as a box of frogs, the guy was a legend. Never looked at him the same way as most other matlows though, I knew there was a kind old polite gent behind that mad exterior!
     
  13. A BIT OFF THE DRIFT, IN 1963 I WAS DOING MY BASIC TRAINING AT RALIEGH AND ONE PERSON HAS STUCK WITH ME EVER SINCE. GUNNERY INSTUCTOR HONEY. (HE'S REAL NAME ) HE HATED ME. I HAD A 303 BOUNCED OFF MY HEAD, MY LEFT EAR TWISTED TO REMIND ME OF LEFT WHEEL, TWICE ROUND THE PARADE GROUND WITH 303 ABOVE MY HEAD AT THE DOUBLE. OH HOW I WANTED TO MEET HIM ASHORE,
     
  14. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Babystew: No need to SHOUT!! :D
     
  15. As would be expected, nutters abound in Dunners. There are 2 who everyone knows.
    Speedy, a thin dirty, long haired and bearded ferker who walks so fast he's almost running, hence his moniker, who has a transistor radio 'glued' to his ear 24/7. He inspects all the bins as he passes and selects any choice morsels for later consumption, he's been doing this for at least 30 years as my wife recalls him ferreting through them from her childhood. Nasty ,but harmless.
    June the loon, an alcoholic woman in her 50's who wanders around the Octogon, the central area of Dunners picking up fag butts and accosting people for money, usually offering men her sexual services :x .
    June has been banned/trespassed from all the supermarkets in town most of the cafes/ bars in Central Dunners usually for performing her part piece of using the floor as a toilet. June appears frequently in the court news, at least once a week for trespass or abusive language type offences, usually bound over or recommended for treatment, alas all the mental health and alcohol treatment clinics have tried and June is banned from most of these as she can be agro if alcohol is withdrawn, still if pissed mostly harmless, just obnoxious.
     
  16. Now, now Sarge! We can all clearly see the damage the Lee-Enfield caused to Babystew's brain by his shouting... On this basis the experience (if no actual fragments of the .303 itself) is clearly so deeply embedded in his skull that nothing, but nothing, will improve his manners! :wink: :lol:
     
  17. "POLL TAX MAN"! Any Yeovilton ratings remember him? He was about 60 years old, and used to be out every night in Gardens or Dukes during the early 1990's, pissed right up and mumbling about not paying his poll tax. Once he cornered you it was really tricky to get away from him (unless you told him to fcuk off). What a boy!
     
  18. "POLL TAX MAN"! Any Yeovilton ratings remember him? He was about 60 years old, and used to be out every night in Gardens or Dukes during the early 1990's, pissed right up and mumbling about not paying his poll tax. Once he cornered you it was really tricky to get away from him (unless you told him to fcuk off). What a boy!
     

Share This Page