Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by The_Caretaker, Nov 1, 2006.

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  1. There was a young Vampire called Mabel,
    Who's periods were reg'lar and Stable,
    So ev'ry Full Moon,
    With the help of a Spoon,
    She drank herself under the Table!

    There once was a Bishop of Bings,
    Who spoke of his God and such things,
    But his Secret Desire,
    Was a Boy in the Choir,
    With a Bottom like Jelly on Springs!

    There was an old gaucho called Bruno,
    Who said: "if there's one thing I do know
    "a woman is fine
    "a boy is devine
    "But a llama is numero uno"

    From the depths of the crypt at St Giles
    Came a scream that could be hear for miles.
    Said the vicar, "goodness gracious,
    It's Father Ignatius,
    He's forgotten the Bishop has piles"

    There was a young lady from Kew
    Who said as the Bishop withdrew
    The Vicar is quicker, and slicker, and thicker
    And three inches longer than you.

    There once was an ugly duckling
    it feathers all matted and torn
    all the swans geese and parrots
    raped its arse on the bandmasters lawn

    Humpty dumpty shat on the wall
    Humpty dumpty hacked off one ball
    All the kings horses and All the kings men
    raped his arse and cut him into small peices and lobbed the fat cnut in a canal

    There was a young girl from the Azores,
    Who's fanny was covered in sores,
    Not a dog in the street,
    Would go near the green meat,
    That hung in excess from her drawers.

    Jack and Jill went up the Hill
    To fetch a mong for slaughter
    the pointy headed dozy cnuts
    didn't realise it was thier daughter

    There once was a dirty old bloke,
    Who picked up a whore for a poke.
    He took down her pants,
    Fucked her into a trance,
    And sh!t in her shoe for a joke.

    Baa Baa black sheep, have you got a prick,
    Yes Sir, Yes Sir 8 inches thick,
    Fcuked the master, shagged a Damn
    And sucked off alittle boy who lives down the lane.

  2. There was a young girl from Cape Cod
    who dreamt she'd been buggered by God
    it wasn't Jehova that turned the girl over
    but Roger, the lodger, the dirty old codger
    the bugger, the bastard, the sod

    There was a young girl from Penzance
    who boarded a bus in a trance
    the passangers fucked her
    likewise, the conductor
    the driver shot off in his pants

    There was a baker from Nottingham
    whilst making eclairs would put snot in 'em
    if he ran out of snot
    he would like as not
    take his pecker and jack off a shot in 'em

    There was a young lady from Ealing
    who had a terrible feeling
    she lay on her back
    opened her crack
    and pissed all over the ceiling
  3. There was a young fellow called Sweeney
    Who`s girl was a terrible meanie
    The hatch of her snatch
    Had a latch with a catch
    She could only be fucked by Houdini
  4. There was a young girl from Devizes with tits of two different sizes. One was so small, nearly nothing at all but the other was big and won prizes!
  5. There was a Blackcatter called Hig
    Who fancied a Froggy called Pig
    But Four Pussy Rosie
    Snapped off his Posy
    Leaving Blackcatter Eunuch the Hig.

    There was a mad catter called Rosie
    Who loved Nutty more than her Hubby
    When the PO Stoker drove in freight
    Rosie ate Nutty half her weight
    And ended up looking like Blobby.
  6. There was a young girl from Madras
    Had the most magnificent ass
    Not pretty and pink as you probably think
    It was grey, had long ears and ate grass

    There was a young queer of Khartom
    Took a lesbian up to his room
    But they argued all night
    Over who had the right
    To do what and with which and to whom

    :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
  7. There was a young girl from Madras
    Who stepped in the water up to her ankles
    It doesnt rhyme now
    But wait till the tide comes in

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