Limerick

geoffg

Lantern Swinger
#1
There was a young man from Dundee
Who got stung on the nose by a wasp
When asked if it hurt, he said
"Not very much
It can do it again if it likes"
geoff(ers) :?

(An aeroplane blonde has blonde hair and a black box :oops: )
 
#2
Three Little Ducks.........Go into a bar.
whats your name said the bartender to the first duck?......... My name is "Huey"....well Huey how was your day?...Oh was wonderful have been in and out of puddles all day..
The bartender turned to the second duck..and whats your name then?."Duey" came the reply... and how was your day?. wel said Duey my day was great have been in and out of puddles all day..
The bartender turned to the third duck and said your name must be "luey"
oh no said the third duck my name's.........""Puddles""............
 
#3
josiecats said:
Three Little Ducks.........Go into a bar.
whats your name said the bartender to the first duck?......... My name is "Huey"....well Huey how was your day?...Oh was wonderful have been in and out of puddles all day..
The bartender turned to the second duck..and whats your name then?."Duey" came the reply... and how was your day?. wel said Duey my day was great have been in and out of puddles all day..
The bartender turned to the third duck and said your name must be "luey"
oh no said the third duck my name's.........""Puddles""............
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
#6
"There was a young man from Madras, whose bollocks were made out of brass. When he clanged them together, they played"Stormy Weather" and fire shot out of his ass."
 
#7
"There was a young fellow from Wales -
who sold hot dogs at car boot sales -
a lady said please I'll have one of these,
the one in the middle...with cheese!"

 

jambosun

Lantern Swinger
#9
There was a young lady from Peel
Who went to fish for an eel
But the Conger was longer
And bigger and stronger
And pulled her in with a squeal
 
#11
There was an old woman of Leeds who swalloed a packet of seeds---tufts of grass graew out of her arse and her fanny was covered in weeds!!
 

ronalder

Lantern Swinger
#12
There was an old whore from Khartoum,
Who took a young queer to her room,
She said"Now my dear, Lets make it quite clear,
Who does what, and to whom"
 

geoffg

Lantern Swinger
#14
There once was a matelot called Faye
Who went boating off Kuwait they say
She strayed from Iraq :oops:
Was a fortnight late back
And sold her story the very next day

I'm a poet and I dont know it!!

geoff(ers) :?
 
#15
there was a little dog- his name was tiny small......
he cocked his little leg up and piddled on the wall.......
the wall began to steam he thought it was on fire.......................
so he cocked his little leg up .............. and piddled a little higher!!!!!!!!
 

ronalder

Lantern Swinger
#16
geoffg said:
There once was a matelot called Faye
Who went boating off Kuwait they say
She strayed from Iraq :oops:
Was a fortnight late back
And sold her story the very next day

I'm a poet and I dont know it!!

geoff(ers) :?
She should be made to rec ite this every Sunday after divisions ( If divisions still happen!) But if she don't wan't to do it , a nice big fine instead? She can afford it !
 
#17
There once was a whore from the Azores
Whose fanny was covered in sores
the dogs in the street
wouldn't eat the green meat
that dripped and clung from her drawers!!

I thank you..........
 
#18
nutty_bag said:
There once was a whore from the Azores
Whose fanny was covered in sores
the dogs in the street
wouldn't eat the green meat
that dripped and clung from her drawers!!

I thank you..........
GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS :( :( :( :( :(
 
#19
There once was a woman from Ealing
who had a peculiar feeling
she laid on her back
and opened her crack
and pissed all over the ceiling.

One for you NZer!!
 
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