Letter To God!!!!!!!!!!!!!Funny

Discussion in 'The Gash Barge' started by josiecats, Jan 7, 2007.

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  1. There was a man who worked for the post office, it was his job to sort all the mail that had illegible addresses.One day a letter came addressed in shaky handwritting,to God with no actual address

    The letter read..........

    Dear God
    Im a 83 year old widow,living on a very small pension.Yesterday someone stole my purse,it had £100 in it, which is all I have till next pension day..
    Next Sunday is Christmas and I have invited two of my friends over for dinner.Whitout that money I have nothing to buy food with...
    I have no family to turn to so you are my only help

    Sincerly yours

    The postal worker was touched .He showed the letter to all the other workers.Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few pounds. By the time hed made the rounds,he had collected £96 ,which they sent to the lady
    The rest of the day the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the Christmas dinner she would now be able to share with her friends..
    Christmas came and went
    A few days later another letter came from the old lady to God.
    All the workers gathered round to read it........

    Dear God
    How can I thank you for what you did for me..Because of your gift of love to me, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends.. We had a very nice day.

    BY the way,there was £4 pound missing.I think it must have been those bastards at the post office......

    Sincerly yours
  2. Perhaps if we all try something similar...

    Dear God,

    Save Our Sailors!
    Save Our Stokers!
    Save Our Socks
    Save Our Scran
    Save Our Square-Rig
    Save Our Soaps on a Rope
    Save Our Navy

    Perhaps then TB will be visited by an angel who'll tell him to invest in the RN or the gates of Heaven will be slammed in his face. You never know, it might work!


    PS: Whilst you're praying, please could you forward my Request Chit to God asking Him to make me normal! :wink: :lol:

  3. Here you go Steve fill this out!

  4. lol does god have a leather wrist band then :):):)?
  5. Steve,
    I seriously doubt that he's going anywhere near the pearly gates after the way he's conducted himself over the last decade.

    I wouldn't mind betting that he's deluded enough to think he will though.

    Best of luck at the table with your request matey.

  6. Steve

    GOD is a useless bastard, every day we used to save his oppo from work. You would hear them pipe "Up spirits, stand fast the Holy Ghost".

    What did he do? He allowed the Add-Mire-Alty to remove all the Junior Rates Spirits from ships. 31st July 1970 "TOT" Rest In Peace.

  7. Well I send my request form in and it just floated back... To say the least, I'm most disappointed! :( :lol:

  8. Thats is Fecking Funny so I have repeated it.

  9. PMSL!Best request form ive seen in a long time!
  10. Dear Always

    I am deeply troubled by your request. If you want to be normal, ergo does that mean you are abnormal now?

    But I have always considered you one of the more normal members of this site. What does that make the rest of them?

    Rosie xxxx
  11. Severly-demented? :wink: :lol:
  12. I thought you would have realised by now that most of us were what is probably best described as 'strange' especially the members of the Great Unwashed.

  13. I resemble that!!
  14. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    AB Normal? I was on the Massive with him... :wink:

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