(Lets tell a Story) SO FAR

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by The_Caretaker, Mar 2, 2007.

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  1. Hello to day is valentines day eve Edith McDougal, Spinster, fuck no card Waiting for flowers broken hearted dies ... of a broken leg. Reincarnated as a Wren in a severe car accident, she was covered in splits With Pusser's Charger Stuck up her Tea towel holder.

    Arse, tattered windsock shaped like a pusser's kit bag plenty of bluetac holding up her twernt, Like a giant Flight deck awning That felt like my first time... Rollmats and all..... "Tits first, Jack!" ...."I'm no slag!" fly the flag from my fanny Naked wrestling marines.

    suck hairy gonads all at once... a bit tight Like a Jocks Wallet! dead moths included nice flapping wings though big hairy flaps John Waynes Saddlebags which was slack like a Jenny's scran bag & droppy like a... ...condom filled with porridge! sweating neaters on... In her Mouth.

    gargling man juice from a donkey Arse in Air waiting to be... rogered by a fat hairy wren
    with a severe bout of clap.. and gobblers lips... ...but nice tits.... with nipples like... Scammel truck wheelnuts..................... check fire bellpushes and cigar butts ..as well as...
    covered in wet... ...slime and shit... from lying under . . a pusser's duvet . . a pussers tilly ..that belongs to.. Royal Navy Police ...in other words.... shits from hell pussers arse wipes At Dutchy's CTC. Easy there, Tiger! She Said as.... he got out........ his Womb Ferret...

    ...and stuffed it... ...inner Stench Trench... whilst squeezing her Babies Bag Meals... Under the Hammock... until she farted In his Face.. ...followed through, bigtime... .....In his eyes..... down his throat... ...On his chest... in his pint... he asked her... ....Noooooo, not my..... Fart inmy Whitbread?"... Nah, Tessa Sanderson"!.

    Surely not there Arse, no babies dam no tits... Like spaniel's ears... and druppy tits But Shaven Haven ...but smells of.. Billingsgate fish market ... and her face.... looks like a... . Bagful of spanners all gone rusty with eyes like... satan's gonads and ears like.......... Ena Sharples' pissflaps soaked in vinegar.. vinegar! why vinegar?........... I like vinegar!!! and Ena Sharples? and why not?... I just wondered! she was nice!.... soaked in vinegar? after a night . . on the piss.... of Coronation Street crap show said.......... Little Jack Horner.

    playing with himself... covered in swarfega... in the corner pulling his plum well thats what he called it said the police putting on handcuffs and pulling out... His massive Baton... covered in.... lub oil and hundreds and thousands of refugees.... Who look like fetid camel jockeys and smelled like a Nee Soon virgins hairy under carriage which needed a bucket of sand for grip.. to stop the.......... smell of fish getting too strong so they got hammered on..... brut after shave and pussers hard... and neaters, blue Two hours later Stuffing his widget up the stern................

    Of a brownhatter... who wanted more.. than ten inches... of sweet, sweet Pulsating population pole... This is Rood Van Nistelroy who has just gotten himself clean.......... after falling into atub of shit... tha Victoria Beckham had bathed in in her thongs and other things David had worn her thong backtofront.....whilst doing Victoria... a good turn ... from the back..... of his car cos David won't... with a woman... . thats has jus........... had a brazilian.... boob/face job... ...Because they look... foxy at distance... in paper bag... on her head.. ...with her bum... ...tattooed with w's.. WOW"! She shouted That's the biggest toothpick I've seen since my sexchange I now prefer... a colonic irrigation administered by the........... Royal Marines Band Master at Arms! the home fleet.... and the Royals... whipping the cream... with his todger... which was bent ...like a boomerang Ouch! G Spot!" Came the cry..... from the Werewolf (WHAT?)of London who was hungry.... enough to eat Ratpacks from ebay Sucking on a.............. juicy Torpedo Alarmpush and moist bush and fisherman's friend...... ..."suck it, bigboy!"... she said aloud!!.... ...so he filled...

    his pipe.... with old shag dinger bell.... Three words! As SGT just said Greenking...three words... around his neck......... hung a plastic.... ...belt, orange, stockings... .....(pretty polly holdups).... Silky Smooth Hairy... they fitted all.... Twelve Inches of... hard throbing skin ...like a glove... snugly clinging to... ,,,,every little wrinkle......... and every fold.. like the lips Which were moist but still chapped from the last.............. Long lingering kiss.... on the sweet.... fat donkeys arse... seen in front..... and from behind... a low wall...... over which was ...lying a bad..... ..dumped and left... ...a large pile.... of used condoms... of all sizes and various colours complete with holes that tasted like green M&M's with marmite and jelly and felt like ...being rubbed with.... a soggy melon ....taken from a ..brothel in Singapore... run by matelots............ ...that like to.... when not chasing.. each other around.... wearing nothing but knickers and flipflops... ....and silly grins.... wellies on heads But negative lanyards Connected to there.... internet service provider...... Microsoft's ploy to................. ....take over the Life of Mr............... Bean and his brown and mighty... yuletide chocolate log which surprised him..... Because it was... not a log... but a large... brown three seater...... with dirty stains.... on the front.... possibly caused by... ....some naughty activity.... involving baked beans... and hundreds of..... small and furry big Klingon warriors with horns on their extremely miniscule

    yet pointy .... sharpe.......... pencils and small.... ....cheesy whidgys which.. when placed upon... slices of toast ...buttered both sides.... ...tasted of mature... dogshite-encrusted ratwank... topped with pussershard sliced as cheese and dhobi dust ...for a mouthwash you can't beat... your meat... in the heads.. without a chit.. from the sickbay malingering, workshy twunt... caught by jossman in doublecock shocker... ringpiece got burst.... ...badly packed kebab... salad hanging out afternoon watchkeepers scran... with chilli sauce dribbling onto her... wide buttock cleft... likea Forecastle rounddown chilli sauce burns.

    like red hot... PO Stoker's poker... glowing bright red port nav light... rosie gets angry... ...but not really... very worked up throwing eppie scoppie spitting the dummy ..out of arse.. aiming at the ..brown hatter who... was mincing around feeling the blokes... Up and down.. and inside out.. getting very excited... but unable to................ quite grab the.... slippery round objects ... ..that were inside... the dirty cleft... of his oppo's... old wrinkly grandmother... whose enormous piercing... hung just like.. but when pulled.. ...tinkled like a ... pair of blue.......... Ball floating like ..Rosina's bikini top... likes whidgy dance... Maple Leaf Rag... and skinhead moonstomp.. on the ice.... ...making big skidmarks... that burnt his............. his little ringpiece... until it was... starting to look like an old ...flip flop....

    In the Sand... attached to a.... very smelly old............... tarten coloured large knickers, belonging to... Camilla Parker Bowles... and sniffed by Andrew... after Charles had.. shot his bolt in 'em... whilst thinking of William's girlfriend... a bearded hunk... and nerys Hughes gentrified pussy... that ponged alot... ...of Welsh Guardsmen and ginger pubes.

    ...(not James Hewitts).. but somebody else... who's Harry's dad... has shafted during Hula Hooping in.. Union Street at..... chucking out time... kebab in hand sauce oozing out... Down Y Fronts.. to the surprise of Mr Blobby who was shagging Mrs Blobby's mum... up the arris down in Paris... Hilton's stench trench the smell was A 3 Badge Stoker carrying a large Guchi handbag with.... a) personalised wheel spanner made of brass wrapped in pink fur And Silk Stockings.. wearing thighlength seaboots ..in soft rubber To visit her friends and bum chums to see if It really did tickle butt it hurt ...when grabbing the the pissflaps like saddle bags with your teeth and biting hard on the pillow containing my dhoby piles, like grapes dangling from my... purpleheaded womb ferret with Prince Albert spraying bollock custard over the curtains.

    like a split Size Three hose that fitted snugly in her damp hairy covered muff muff]...led cries within... let me out!!!... I'Ve been here.. For fucking hours Dark and Dingy and full of .... Hot Musky damp.. making her moist as a limp leaf of lettuce(?)..Streatched over her.... moist upper body.. Tits dangling down.. like cows udders in the winter on that cold hard galley deck one up from..... Davy Jones Locker which looked like an octupus had gone balls deep within the hallowed chocolate starfish of willy's cream wonka.

    and pulled hard there she blows as he come all over her smooth round arse flooding her stenchtrench with man fat.. and bits of Pussers under coat and red oxide Reeking of a camel on heat.

    hint of turps and bluebell looking like a.... a scranbag full of leftover used condoms and... Mouse left overs.
     
  2. Crap eh????? :grin: :grin: :grin:
     
  3. Lets get it published in the Navy News!!!
     
  4. I thought in the Globe & Laural
     
  5. Where did you nick that one from?
     

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