Lesbians Pound Bush for Marriage

The above is supposedly a genuine newspaper headline. So, Rum Rationers, I expect it has been done before .. come up with the tackiest newspaper headline for a past, current, future event - military, historical, sporting or imaginary.

Please no bloody great list simply nicked off the web, give everyone a chance to pilfer at least one :)

Edited for biff handwriting :)


War Hero
The Batsmans Holding the bowlers willie.............not a headline but famous TMS commentary, I just cant remember the old duffers name...jonners????
Blue Peter 'Time for some cunning stunts' (I think it was Peter something.)
He looked very relieved after saying it when it dawned on him what he could had just said had he cocked it up.


Lantern Swinger
Trevor Macdonald on news at Ten rounded off the programme with the usual happy and cuddly story but blew it spectacularly....... ...."And now a delightful story from the Kunt centryside urrr sorry I mean the Kent countryside"
A BBC radio news programme years ago:

"Last night Lesbian forces attacked Beirut. I'm terribly sorry, that should read Lesbian forces attacked Beirut. Oh. I'm very sorry that should of course read last night Lebanese forces attacked Beirut."

And on BBC Radio 1 about five years ago, about half seven in the morning on the Sara Cox show:

"And that email was from Mike Hunt." Followed by about five seconds of dead air and then spluttered apologies as she realised what she's done. I nearly crashed my car laughing.
Wimbledon commentary, "Its the big American with the new balls to serve".
Michael Fish looking at the UK weather map which just has OG on it, "Oh dear I've lost the f in fog"!
Slightly off target, but years ago, my old man had to call 999 when passing Norwood Crematorium, which was ablaze at the time. Took him a while to convince the operator that there really was a fire at the crematorium.....
All very good so far, but wouldn't it be great to have you as on the spot reporters? ... Okay, here is my first pathetic attempt (ignore typos as I am inebriated!):

Mein Gott! The cheating shwien Siegfried is not 'anging his washing on the Maginot Line! ( The Sun: 1939).

Crap, I know :(


War Hero
Book Reviewer
1. Admiral Beaufort KCB, he of the Beaufort Scale (of wind strengths, I add for any landlubbers visiting from ARRSE) was prepared for the navy at Master Bates' Military and Naval Academy in Dublin ca. 1785.

2. Today on Bargain Hunt the auctioneer James Lewis said 'When it comes to jugs I like to see a pair of jugs.' I could hardly believe my subtitles.

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