Last days at work - ideas for mayhem...

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by jockpopeye, Sep 5, 2012.

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  1. jockpopeye

    jockpopeye Badgeman Book Reviewer

    Jock has a new job starting Monday so has a couple of days left to monkey around and do as little work as possible.

    Any suggestions as to what I should do, needs to be funny but not criminal (incase I get struck off).

    There are a lot of pcs left unlocked so I was thinking that a starter for ten would be to set everyone up with a lot of delayed send messages due to go out at 9.01 on Monday
  2. Got caught out when I was a DO at raleigh by some twat doing that, had to go and see the Cdr :(
  3. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    If they leave theirselves logged in change their hot keys so that they all log them out of the system
  4. Choose some of the less IT savvy and put some autocorrections on for them. IE: When they type words that they use on a regular basis, it will change to whatever word(s) that you have substituted. Works great with signature blocks. Mind you, you have to know how to do it in the first place, but it's not difficult.
    • Like Like x 1
  5. Press 'Alt GR' and the down key simultaneously.

    This will make the screen turn upside down.

    I did this to my chairman once and I watched in glee as he first scratched his head in dismay, phoned the IT lady who wasn't in and finally settled for manually turning his screen upside down and balancing it on some books.
    • Like Like x 2
  6. Oh and I've just remembered; you should unscrew a wall panel (office buildings are built on the cheap, there will be one about, concealing some pipework or something) stick an open can of tuna and/or sardines in the cavity and screw the panel back on.

    Voila, you have created a disgusting and unpleasant working environment for all of your old colleagues.

    I did this in nearly every cabin I ever inhabited during my RN and TA career, my 6 man mess after phase 2 got a whole side of haddock. I know for a fact that the entire ground floor of Inglefield Hall at Collingwood had to be fumigated due to my leaving gifts.
    • Like Like x 1
  7. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    Right, lets get serious. Dont fanny about with the bloody computer hoping someone will log on.

    Curl a log down on a paper plate, cover it in tin foil, put it in the back of the work fridge, right at the back, the place where all the left over tubs of humus and gay sweet chilli dips end up. Walk away smiling in the knowledge that your shit will live in that fridge for at least the next 6 weeks.
    • Like Like x 3
  8. Just withdraw your notice, that'll really piss them off!
  9. Did this to my DO at my last establishment ... he was a total a*sehole ... he left his PC unlocked and logged in so when he started typing his reports every 'i' turned into "t*ts" and every 'o' "b*llocks" ... he never did find out who did it!
  10. was thinking of trying this ... but how do you make it go back??????????????
  11. If you have time any PC left unlocked send delayed messages to their bosses, saying what they think of them and make it look like it was sent in error, e.g addressed to work mates and you inadvertently sent to boss, only down side is you do not see the shit you caused?

    All unlocked PC change passwords on last day if you can

    Wet blobby and 2decks have any evil streak in them funny but evil, depends on how much you like your soon to be ex work colleagues?

    All anlocked PC change passwords on last day if you can
  12. Alt Gr + UP

    Take a print screen of the desktop. Save the image file and set it as the desktop. Right click on a blank space on the desktop and click "Hide Icons", then right click on the taskbar and ensure "Lock the Taskbar" is unticked and click on the top when you get the arrows and drag down.

    When they come to do anything they'll click on things and nothing will happen as it's only an image. They'll think it's frozen and reboot. The second time you come to do it the background image will normally still be the one you put there so it's quicker to cause the "freeze"
  13. Ease off the M and N keys on the keyboards with a knife, and swap them over. Brilliant!
  14. There are some devious and PC knowledgeable minds out there?
  15. There are some great harmless pranks out there. The ones that are slightly damaging are the really fun ones!
  16. Well, it's like touching the paint beside the 'Wet paint' sign isn't it? So I hits Alt GR and Down Arrow............. nada. So does it only work with a PC monitor as opposed to a lap top?
  17. jockpopeye

    jockpopeye Badgeman Book Reviewer

    I have been advised of one where you put sheets of gelatine into the toilets so that when folks go for a dump it sits wobbling on top of the jelly stinking the place out and confusing the dumper.
    • Like Like x 1
  18. Unplugged a 2 1/2's mouse when he wasn't looking. He had to wait until the next day before IT could sort his mouse problem out. To say he went ballistic would be an understatement when IT showed him the "snag". A degree in electronics and he couldn't sort that one out :)
  19. Maybe you have a different version of windows.

    It worked on my old laptop.

    I'm a Mac man these days though.
  20. Never mind gelatine, streck cling film very tight across pan in female bogs. When they stoop they get their own back.
    Did it in a taxi office once, trouble was I got rumbled not sneaky beaky enough.

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