Lame to Fame

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Blackrat, Mar 16, 2013.

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  1. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    A bit like a claim to fame, but a shittier version. Now these can be either your ones or people in the media who got there by the crappiest of means. I'll give you a few examples.

    I once snogged Neil Kinnocks daughter at a school disco.

    I once asked to borrow a copy of the Metro off Nigel Havers on the Piccadilly line one day.

    I had a piss next to Brett Anderson (of Suede fame) at a David Bowie gig.

    Now as to famous lames to fame. Here's an example or two;

    Jodie Marsh. Does anyone know how she got famous?


    Kim Kardashian. Who the fucking hell is she? Seriously. I haven't a clue yet she's everywhere.


    No story is too lame. In fact, the lamer, the better.
  2. Comedy actor Terry Scott asked me while I was stood outside a pub in Weymouth if they allowed young children in the bar area.
  3. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    What month was that? June? *snigger*
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  4. is one hot puppy tonight !!!!!
  5. I played in the same band as Mark King from Level 42 !!!!

    Cowes High School CCF Band circa shit gen dit !!
  6. I was almost run down and killed in Streatham High Street by Frank Carson
    who was driving to some comedy gig - completely smashed out of his tree.

    He skidded to a halt about a foot from my guts in Roller - the crossing lights
    were green for us pedestrians at the time, so I told the drunken Irish twat what
    I thought of his driving and he then had the nerve to ask for fucking directions!

  7. It's the way he tells them !
  8. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Great band Level 42. i'm not sure this is a lame to fame though. If you said "I once nicked Mark King's Wagon Wheel" that would have qualified. This one is more a claim to fame.
    • Like Like x 1
  9. I once saw Tony Robinson swear at someone for calling him Baldrick at Taunton Dean services.
    • Like Like x 1
  10. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I stood next to Tony Robinson at Denham Village Fair a few years ago. He was eating a hog roast roll and had apple sauce on his chin. I'm 100% positive he let a sneaky one out as well. Either that or he had trodden in dog shit.
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2013
  11. Lame to fames?

    I have many, here comes le chat noir:

    My Mum's cousin is actually good mates with Jodie Marsh, there are pictures of them together on Facebook and everything.

    I once gave Prince Phillip a can of lukewarm Boddingtons at a BBQ.

    Prince Phillip once offered me some sausages at a BBQ.

    I am very distantly related to Ben Elton and also the bloke who directed Marathon Man.

    My aunt pissed on Pavarotti's lap when she was a toddler.

    My dad drinks in the same pub as the drummer from Culture Club - yep the bloke who used to frequently suck off Boy George - the drummer that is, not my Dad.

    I once shared a tube carriage with Kate Middleton, it was when she was first getting knobbed by Prince William, just me and her on the carriage, she smiled at me and I said 'alright'.

    I once sat next to Princess Beatrice at a Polo match, she gets a bad rap in the papers and is actually reasonably fit in real life. She smiled at me and I said 'alright'.

    I once sat next to Bianca from Eastenders at a charity auction, she smiled at me and I said 'alright'.

    I had a piss next to Kevin Bacon on the set of X Men First Class, he didn't smile at me (good thing really, that would be proper gay), but I said 'alright' anyway.
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  12. Oh nearly forgot, Geoff Hoon was in the queue in front of me at Burger King on the M6 services once. He ordered a large Whopper meal, negative onions.
  13. I once ran a landrover into Prince Philips leg, whilst the Queen stood watching. I was driving it by remote control at the time. (Full size not a toy or model)
    I once had a very loud "eyes in the boat" shouted at me for looking up princess Alexandra's dress.
    I once slapped Trevor Francis and threw him over a studio couch.
    And I threw up over "roger" from "The beat."
    I had anal sex with,..... oh thats a claim forget that one.
  14. Kim kardashian's dad was a lawyer in the oj simpson case, and she grew up as a hollywood brat. Then her and her family picked up a reality show called keeping up with the kardashians, which was followed by a zillion rubbish endorsements that made her filthy rich. However, i have no idea why the world feels it neccessary for her to be famous so i cant answer that!

    Scared to type my lame to fame so i will refrain :p
  15. Fuckin hell I thought her dad was an arms dealer.
    Note to self,...use Google you lazy fucker.
  16. A lame to fame from the future; I can remember when Rachlethree's Labia could still touch together, without the aid of a clothes peg.
    • Like Like x 3
  17. Ahhh those were the days! (maybe the future is already here) ;)
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  18. I wish i had used google- i am not sure if there is a name for the condition other then being female; but as much as i hate trashy reality tv and that i often find myself watching it :( so this was information i already knew taking up valuable space in my noggin!
  19. Just my luck, how was I to know you are joining as a Metoc. ^_~
  20. I once sat opposite Michaela Strachan at Bristol airport, she ignored me and just read a book. There again, there were four of us who'd been in the bar for a while so fair do's I suppose.

    Lionel Blair pinched a light off me in Beasties in Pompey once, he's 81 now so I might put him on the stiff list.

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