Knee No 2

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by BillyNoMates, Mar 22, 2011.

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  1. A long while back, when I was BigBadDog - my only way of getting onto the www
    was via RR when in hospital having right knee hacked out. Same situation for the
    left knee...which went to a glue factory this afternoon. Left leg still numb as f*k
    and have not started on my Morphine machine (yet). This post has taken about
    an hour or so to post, using the NHS over the bed tv/phone/www system.....cost
    15 quid for 6 days.

    Time 2245 gmt. All the old geezers are snoring their tits off.....I shall lose the
    plot if my stay goes beyond 6 days.


    The keyboard on this is f***ing useless!

  2. Hope you are on the mend soon and dont need too much of the M machine, if you do make sure they top the bugger up, Derriford didnt and my bro was in f*^&$%g agony.

    Best wishes

  3. JagerGirl

    JagerGirl Book Reviewer

    Hope you're on the mend soon. You have my sympathy as the Awfulpaedics are due to hack my knee to bits again in the next week or so. I don't like being on "the other side" - much prefer being in scrubs.
  4. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    You're a Nurse? Do you do private examinations?
  5. JagerGirl

    JagerGirl Book Reviewer

    For the right price Sir. Or did you mean do I examine privates? Either way, the answer is the same.
  6. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I'm not a private. Name your price. As long as consumption of my gin is not included, you have a booking.
  7. 07:00

    Morning all. Had a reasonable bunch of zeds. Bloke next to my pit
    is giving it large in the moaning and wincing dept. Trying to kip with
    these f***ing air-socks constantly inflating/deflating is a right royal
    pain in the.........well.......feet. I NEED A SMOKE! Perhaps I can escape
    to the tabbers leper colony sometime today. The Sun is blazing in through
    the ward windaz...gonna be a nice day.

    Now - where's my fags?

  8. Have a quick bronzy if you make it out the main door to the tabbing centre. Used to make me giggle when visiting the Father-in-law in Derriford watching all the sick notes with their drips etc staggering across the road dodging the taxi's etc so they could tab up.
  9. Cheers

    I like watching the lower class of manic depressive from the head-case
    unit. They normally bum fags off us patients at knife-point, but it makes
    for an interesting day.

    Why is RR bombarding me with ads for Scientology?

    Have we gone over to the L Ron Hubbard school of stupid or what?
  10. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    I think the Scientology thing is linked to that organisation buying Guz Fleet Club. Looking for Matelots to brighten things up, I wonder if its still got the bar?
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2011
  11. Whoopie-doo!

    The gits won't let me get out of this f***ing bed! Got to
    wait until the PTI's clear me for a sit in a comfy chair.
    However - planning a covert wheel-out to the fag-servatory
    this afternoon. Never been a model patient when
    I was in the old military hozzy down on the banks of the Thames
    (Queen Alexanders Military Hospital, Millbank?), we could all
    escape out of the ward telly-room window. Many a night, we
    would come back utterly wellied, bringing pizzas etc for those
    less fortunate (bed-bound). Think they might kick off if I did
    that here....and being 11 floors up only adds to my escape
    committees snags. Me leg hurts.

  12. A Nurse, A Blue, A Kopite Hater!!!

    Oh my God, i'm in love. Just dont tell the wife!!! :)
  13. would that be the bar that opened at 4pm including Sundays "back in the day". Being an upright respectable rating I never went there obviously :angel7::eek:ccasion5:
  14. I have been in a few times lately for unpleasant things done.Answer was to hide a load of painkillers and sleeping pills from the nurses.
    They give you a couple of Aspirin if you are in great pain so I just take some powerful ones in and get the wife to bring more along with a couple of bottles of Newkie Broon which I can easily hide as Nurses never go in your locker.
    I always get a decent nights sleep I'm just lucky that the wife has an excess of sleeping pills.
    In fact one nurse said I was so knocked out she spent a good part of the night tucking my bits in! no lipstick on it though!Get well soon.
  15. Out the Stonemasons Arms at 1445 in Fleet Club 1600.Out Fleet Club 1755 in Stonemasons Arms 1800.Not that I ever did of course.
  16. Sympathies mate.Although I've since packed up I remember almost chewing me own arm off cos I was stuck in a hospital bed for a week.All I got from the missus was"This is a good time to quit smoking"That really helped!
  17. Din-dins

    4 x meatballs in "sauce" (Probably from the inside of a recently scraped cholostomy bag)
    Mashed potato/mashed cabbage/mashed cheese and crackers.

    They forgot my f***ing breakfast.

    There will only be 2 of us left up here. Every bastards going home. The one at the end of
    my bed in the big zipped up plastic bag.....I'm not too sure about...will sitrep later.

    Time for a Kerry Catona cocktail......mmmmmmm....mmmorphine.

    My leg hurts a bit more....nerve block wearing off.
  18. I'll swap matey, got to better than listening to a Graduate designer (who is a non-ex RAF, Air Cadet Officer) gobbing off about how he is on the reserve list and how he is getting his kit ready just in case he gets the call!!!!

    Roll on 15:30!!!

    Get well soon shippers!!! :)
  19. JagerGirl

    JagerGirl Book Reviewer

    BNM - you sound as good a patient as I am. I had some poor little junior doctor start to tell me what the operation involved - time is precious so I stopped him in his tracks and asked if he had hear of Mr ******, a very respected and eminent Awfulpaedic surgeon. He said he had, so I told him I used to work with him and could assist with said operation with my eyes closed, so he could save his spiel for someone else. The Anaesthetist was someone I'd worked with, so he said "I won't bother with the ins and outs - just don't give me a hard time. I might test you to see if you're still on the ball though".

    The nurses in general love me as I don't bother them unless I really need something and as a rule, I tend to help the old dots and other patients with small things (and then get shouted at for being up and about) but once a nurse, always a nurse. As for the smoking, catch 22. The need for a cig got me up and mobile quicker than the non smokers so I was out much quicker, but they probably took a shorter time to heal - swings and roundabouts. I'm giving up so might not need to get up so quick this time, assuming the champix kicks in really soon.

    JFH - the love may pass when you discover I'm a readhead, love my rock music, motorbikes, cars & anything with an engine.
  20. Did I ever meet you in 5th Ave in Bromborough, Ginge? :)

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