War Hero
A blokes driving along in his car when he sees to muslims at the side of the road. Straight away he speeds up, mounts the kerb and hits them. Sending one flying over a nearby hedge into a garden and sending the other rolling across the bonnet, smashing the windscreen and ending up on the passenger seat, horribly injured, next to him

The guy slams on his brakes when he sees what he has done and just sits there crapping himself wondering what to do.

Hes there for so long that when the police arrive he is still sat there. Policeman gets out of his car and walks to the bloke and asks what had happened?

''Well'' starts the bloke '' I was driving along when all of a sudden these 2 guys just stepped out on to the road. There was no way i could avoid them'' he replies

''No chance'' replies the copper ''No skid marks, his injuries, it just aint possible, come on what really happened?''

So the bloke tries again '' Well i was doing about 45-50mph when they just stepped out, couldnt stop''

Again the copper isnt having any of it and offers the bloke one last chance to tell him what happened

''Ok'' replies the bloke, resigned to telling the truth '' I saw these 2 guys on the side of the road, speeded up, mounted the kerb, hit them sending one over that hedge there and the other smashed my windscreen''

''Thats more like it'' replies the copper ''Ill call my station and see what were going to do about it''

So he goes to his car, gets on the phone to the station and after about 5 minutes comes back to speak to the bloke who by now is crapping it

''Well'' starts the policeman ''We've decided what we are going to do.''

Pointing to the injured men he carries on ''Were going to charge that one with leaving the scene of a crime and this one with breaking and entering!!''