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Jossmen and boneheads


Lantern Swinger
Did anyone out there, ever come across a joss, or a regulater who was a f xxxxxxg good hand, or was they all pissed with power?


Lantern Swinger
I once served with a LREG on HMS Iron Duke in the early to mid 90's, he was a top guy, JJ if you're reading this, regards shippers.

I also worked with a MAA in Chicksands who was a diamond bloke.

Deleted 7

The MAAs on HMS Norfolk in 2003 was a good one, his LReg was lovely too!
MAA ben Nevers on the Monmouth and his LREG - good guys, you knew where you stood.
NO power trips from them.



Lantern Swinger
Must admit the jaunty on the Triumph, Alex Sommerville, was straight down the line with officers, senior rates, and junior rates, a hard but fair man, and everybody knew where they stood with him.
I found them all to be top blokes as long as they didn't know I existed.
It's when I came to their attention that problems seemed to start.


Was in Nelson the day before release, in civvies when I was stopped by a Fleet Joss who said I needed a haircut, I explained I was going outside next day...his reply was '' Just not your day today is it'', even took me into the admin block and told one of the RPO's to ensure my hair was cut before release.... :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:


We managed to brain the MAA on the Argonaut whilst setting up to dress ship one of the ends slipped before it was attached we did cry out
'B E L O W' but he just stopped and looked up and the shackle and swivel hit him right on the forehead.
We spent a long time trying to prove our innocence in that it was an accident and not deliberate, if it had been deliberate we would have probably missed 99 times out of a 100.

There seemed to be a slight grudge against the comms mess after that.


Lantern Swinger

I've known a few good uns, I wish I could remember their names, (I think old age is creeping up).

HMS Herald during the Falklands
HMS Manchester during the first Gulf

The MAA on Hermione last commish was a rum un, got sent home from Gulf after gate crashing a cock & ass party in Dubai (I think) No names coz he went on to more serious things (allegedly)


The Jaunty on The Endurance in 1981/82 (In fact I think he was a Fleet MAA) looked like Col Saunders of KFC fame.
He was a decent bloke though but I cant remember his name.
On the Achilles our Joss was MAA Toggle. A spoof draft chit for a
L/REG Two was sent round the ship. Joss thought it very funny.
dhoby_bucket said:
On the Achilles our Joss was MAA Toggle. A spoof draft chit for a
L/REG Two was sent round the ship. Joss thought it very funny.

How tragic, to only have ONE Toggle. What happened to the other? :wink:


andym said:
FMAA Gandy,HMS Mercury and RNH Haslar 80's.All round good egg.

I served at Pompey Patrol in '69 with Scouse Gandy when he was a L/Reg, he is in Spain running a bar. Ben Nevers is back at sea as a civvy security officer on fanny boats. FMAA Tom Wilkinson is in his 70's and extremely well. He attends every reunion in Pompey.

If anybody wants to know where any others are, gimme a shout. I always knew we were extremely popular especially when rail warrants and leave passes were needed.


Never met a good one! All power crazed, brainless morons with IQ's slightly less than their hat size!

Of course on God's vessels (submarines), we didn't have to suffer the mindless gibberings of such lesser beings.

I'm told that during their training they all get concrete injections and have the Regulator Interlock fitted. (Regulator Interlock: every time they open their mouth a flap drops over their brain)

Having said that, they do their best under difficult conditions, i.e. having hearts of stone, and the inability to comprehend human life.

Bite anyone????

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