Jokes

Greendeath

Lantern Swinger
#1
The old Colonel, his Adjutant, and a young Lieutenant were discussing sex.
The Colonel said, “I believe that sex is about 90% work, and 10% fun.â€
The Adjutant disagreed. “I’d say it’s nearer 50% work and 50% fun.â€
The young Lieutenant snorted. “Maybe for you old guys, but I’d say it’s closer to 10% work and 90% fun.â€
Just then the grizzled Regimental Sergeant-Major happened by, overseeing the various work parties. The Colonel called him over.
The old chief snapped to attention. “Yes, sir!â€
“RSM,†said the Colonel, “we were having a disagreement here, and we were hoping you could settle it. I say that sex is about 90% work and 10% fun. The young Lieutenant here says its 10% work and 90% fun. The Adj says its fifty-fifty. What’s your opinion?â€
The RSM knit his beetle brows and said, “Why, Sir, it’s obviously 100% fun.â€
The Colonel asked, “And how did you arrive at that figure?â€
The RSM retorted, “Because if there was any work involved you€™d have my men do it for you.â€

Cheers

GD
 

Greendeath

Lantern Swinger
#2
A man and womam who are employed by the RSPCA find a skunk lying on the road. It was shivering with the cold.

"Pick it up." Said the man. "And keep it warm."

"How can I keep it warm, its freezing." The woman responded.

"Tuck it inside your knickers." The man suggested.

"But what about the smell?" The woman frowned.

The man grinned at her and said: "Don't worry about that, just hold its nose."

Cheers

GD
 
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