Navy Net - Royal Navy Community

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Jokes

D

Deleted 58790

Guest
lady walks into a supermarket. On her way round she sees the fellow who had been rather close to her the previous evening, after they had met at a club. He was stacking washing powder boxes on to the shelves. “You lying bastard,” she shouts, “last night you told me that you were a stunt pilot.” “No,” he says, “I told you that I was a member of the Ariel display team.”
------------------------------------------------​
A cabbie picks up a Nun. The nun gets into the cab and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you.”She answers, “My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.” “Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that... 1) You have to be single and 2) You must be Catholic.” The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”“OK” the nun says. “Pull into the next alley.”The nun fulfils his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. “My dear child,” said the nun, “why are you crying?”“Forgive me, but I’ve sinned. I lied, and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Kevin and I’m going to a Halloween party!”
----------------------------------------------------​
Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site. Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off. I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!"He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts "I'M A LIGHTBULB!..I'M A LIGHT BULB!" Murphy watches in amazement! The Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home" So he leaves the site. Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well."Where the hell are you going?" asks the Foreman."I can't work in the friggin' dark!" says Murphy.------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Apparently neither of these two were very amused either . . .

1601835970706.png

//H - Which clown posted that crap in the 'Jokes' Thread?

M - Aye: Outrageously offensive to ladies, shelf stackers, stunt pilots, cabbies, nuns, catholics, jews, Kevins, Paddies, Murphies, and foremen - 'specially all those poor black ones sprinkled amongst 'em.

H - and all the ginger ones, don't forget us ginger ones, honeychile.

M - Taxis, too.

H - Nah, not yet hon - We'll stay here in LA until Christmas* at least.//


*CLAIRE TOUREILLE FOR MAILONLINE PUBLISHED: 12:56, 4 October 2020 | UPDATED: 19:01, 4 October 2020 =

<<...The Duke, 36, and Duchess of Sussex, 39, are set to host their own Christmas soirée in Los Angeles and plan on inviting his 'surrogate' dad, Canadian record producer David, and his wife Katharine McPhee, The Mirror has reported...>>
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
JockJack Them bloody gay jokes Diamond Lil's 30
janner Awful jokes Miscellaneous 62
taffscrivs Unfunny 'Jokes' (??) The Gash Barge 34
wal A few Oscar Pistorius Jokes. Miscellaneous 4
H Jokes about the wife! Blue Jokes 10
Polto Willy jokes... Miscellaneous 3
BillyNoMates This was supposed to be in the Jokes Thread. Blue Jokes 0
P Pirate jokes Nautical Jokes 104
TonyN Playground Jokes Miscellaneous 0
The_Caretaker Clinton Jokes Miscellaneous 0
The_Caretaker Blond Jokes 5 Miscellaneous 0
The_Caretaker Blond Jokes 4 Miscellaneous 0
The_Caretaker Blond Jokes 3 Miscellaneous 0
The_Caretaker Blond Jokes 2 Miscellaneous 1
nelsons_blood Adult Jokes... Enjoy Blue Jokes 4
BillyNoMates Where's the turkey jokes then? Diamond Lil's 2
P Chilean Miner Jokes Diamond Lil's 7
seenoffteefcuk SICK JOKES Diamond Lil's 15
Z Jokes you'd go to hell for telling Diamond Lil's 20
sgtpepperband German Jokes Diamond Lil's 18
RP1986 Un-PC Jokes The Gash Barge 19
NotmeChief Get your puffta jokes in now. Diamond Lil's 78
NotmeChief So the Irish ARE as thick as the jokes suggest. Current Affairs 43
MOOSE PTI JOKES ? The Corps 14
A Sick jokes and initiation stories Diamond Lil's 28
T jokes The Quarterdeck 0
JamesH Economic Jokes, folks. Diamond Lil's 3
LujonSA Jokes Site Issues 4
G Jokes The Corps 9
G Jokes The Corps 1
Jarhead Marine Corps Jokes The Corps 3
P TOP FOUR ADULT JOKES The Quarterdeck 0
sonofamatelot Jokes Site Issues 5
Obelix Airline Jokes: Quantas The Quarterdeck 10
W Peter Kay Jokes Diamond Lil's 3
D Jokes/email funnies/captions - muster here The Quarterdeck 755
Similar threads




































Latest Threads

Top