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An Orthopaedic surgeon on a flight said to the Air Hostess "is there an Anaesthetist on board , there's an emergency", She put a call out , and yes there was an Anaesthetist on board . He thought to himself , I don't realy want to make myself known , but if it's an emergency , I better .
He made himself known to the hostess , and she pointed him in the direction of the surgeon , He made his way to the surgeon , who was in fact sitting quietly reading . He said to the surgeon , "I thought there was an emergency" "There is" replied the surgeon , "could you adjust the light , I can't see properly".. :roll: :lol: :roll:
Bloke wakes up at 5 in the morning with a raging hard on , so wakes his wife and says "darling,darling gives us a blow job now I'm desperate", the wife says "for christ sake i'ts 5 in the morning , have a **** in a glass and I'll drink it in the morning" :roll: :lol: sorry
A Mackem fan wallks into a pub with his dog just as the football scores come on the TV , The announcer says that sunderland have lost 3-0 and the dog immediately rolls over on its back , sticks its paws up in the air and plays dead , "that's amazing ," says the barman . "what does it do when they win ?" The Mackem Fan scratches his head for a couple of seconds and finaly replies:"I Don't know .....I've only had the dog for five months. :roll: :lol:
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some rectum deodorant , The pharmacist , a little bemused , explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant , and never have ,
Unfazed the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis and would like some more .
"I'm sorry", says the pharmacist , "we don't have any!"
"But I always buy it here," says the blonde
"Do you have the container that it came in?" asks the pharmacist.
"YES" , said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it," She returns with the container and hands it over to thr pharmacist who looks at it and says to her , "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant" ,
Annoyed , the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container ,
" TO APPLY < PUSH UP BOTTOM "
Retired officer decides to visit Pompey for maybe the last time, to watch the ships leaving harbour, after a while , he leaves the round tower, and heads towards town , approaching HMS NELSON, a young lady accosts him and if he would like a short time, thinking to himself this might be my last ever bag off, they agree a price, and off they go to her flat, part way through the bag off he asks her how he doing, she replies "About three knots" asking what she means, she says " your not hard, your not in, and your not gettiing your ******* money back"