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Guest
An Ensign was sitting his first qualification board for Officer of the Deck at sea. After several hours of watching the young officer answer difficult questions from the members of the board, the ship's Captain decided to finish off the board by placing the Ensign in a completely hypothetical emergency situation.

"What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard side?" he asked.

"Throw out an anchor, Sir," the Ensign replied.

"And what would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"

"I'd throw out another anchor, Captain."

"And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do then?" asked the Captain.

"Throw out another anchor, Sir," the Ensign said.

"Hold on," said the Captain. "Where are you getting all those anchors from?"

The Ensign smiled. "From the same place you're getting all those storms, Sir."
 

AuldYin

Badgeman
A South African gold miner has an horrific injury whilst at work an ends up having to have his leg removed,after a few weeks he becomes very very depressed. 'I'm screwed now' he said 'who on earth is going to want a one legged gold digger....'








ME said Paul McCartney
 

abacus

Midshipman
Soldier, Sailor, Airman in the bar.

Soldier says: My wife is so thick. She's just bought a car and she doesn't drive.

Sailor says: Think that's bad? My wife has just paid for a swimming pool to be built in the back garden and she doesn't swim.

Airman thinks for a while: I can beat that, my wife has just gone to Greece on holiday. She's taken 50 condoms with her and she doesn't even have a c0ck...
 

Ageing_Gracefully

War Hero
Moderator
Review Editor
Book Reviewer
AuldYin said:
A South African gold miner has an horrific injury whilst at work an ends up having to have his leg removed,after a few weeks he becomes very very depressed. 'I'm screwed now' he said 'who on earth is going to want a one legged gold digger....'


ME said Paul McCartney

Oiyyy AuldYin - you tryin to nick my old and established name? :wink:

Hope you can live up (or down) to it.
 

AuldYin

Badgeman
Actually, when I joined I didn't know the name was in use. As it could get very confusing I will change mine to something else if one of the mods can let me know how to do it..
 

Ageing_Gracefully

War Hero
Moderator
Review Editor
Book Reviewer
AuldYin said:
Actually, when I joined I didn't know the name was in use. As it could get very confusing I will change mine to something else if one of the mods can let me know how to do it..

No need - this is really your site - I will change mine in the next day or so, once I think up something appropriate (printable suggestions accepted :oops: )

This was my username from ARRSE so it should be up to me to change.

Regards and good luck with your site.

x A-Y
 

andym

War Hero
Wanna be sexy and have all the girls swarming all over you?Then get a six pack!







six_pack.jpg
 

Floppyjocky

Badgeman
Auld-Yin said:
AuldYin said:
Actually, when I joined I didn't know the name was in use. As it could get very confusing I will change mine to something else if one of the mods can let me know how to do it..

No need - this is really your site - I will change mine in the next day or so, once I think up something appropriate (printable suggestions accepted :oops: )

This was my username from ARRSE so it should be up to me to change.

Regards and good luck with your site.

x A-Y

How about Auldest-Yin? or Ancient-Yin :)
 
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