Joanna's, Flares,Emma's,Jester's- Dits.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by PartTimePongo, Jul 17, 2006.

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  1. Ok, some of you currently serving have hinted at some horror dits, this is the thread :)
  2. the_matelot

    the_matelot War Hero Moderator

    Re: Joanna's, Flares and Emma's dits of horror.

    I went out in Pompey for ONE quiet pint the first night I was on BSSC. Yeah right. Fast forward to 1.45, moi and an oppo in Jo's absolutely ringbolted and me about to latch onto a nurse. Anyway, back to hers, did the beast with two backs and I was fcuking brilliant! Anyway, I wake up at 0730 (on bssc remember-yes, right, OH FCUK!!!!!!!!!), leg it out of her flat (after getting her number-I had just got a mobile phone then!), panic as I do not know where I am and run out into the middle of the road to flag down a taxi and tell him I need to get to Excellent and fcuking step on it! Taxi driver looks at me, say's 'are you sure?' to which I reply OF COURSE I FCUKING AM, absolutely sh1tting it as I don't want to get trooped for being adrift. Anyway taxi driver sets off....and stops outside about 40 seconds later outside the main gate at the island. I'd only gone and pulled a North End slapper who lived near where the Pizza Hut is now :oops:
  3. I see no mention of Sams in Exmouth lol ...
  4. I see no mention of the Bistro Bar in Pompey (Beasties)

    Who can remember Joey and the dwarf girl with the bow legs???
  5. Which night in any of the mentioned places is not a horror show??????

    In Jesters, there are 3 lasses who are or were always there. One of them couldn't be any less than 23 stone the other is as skinny as a rake and the 3rd is a total chav, all 3 would be spotted in less attractive market rags or trackies.

    Anyhow, I was out with a few lads from Drake, not a big night, just a mid week drinking session. Enter Jesters, 2 for 1: twisted: anyway, one of the lads cops off with big Bertha and swears he is going to give her the beating of her life time. We slowly remind him is this before or after 42Co had gone through her. He disappears, never to be seen again that night! I get a call at 3am 9for the sake of it, we'll call him Smudge), blue murder screams and pleas for help, not understanding a word of it I put the phone down. I then get a text with an address, located in Swilly (great place: wink: ), Smudge had got himself into a little situation. Not only has Big Bertha got 3 different kids from 3 different guys, her adoring husband had come home early to find Smudge giving his Mrs. a kidney punch or two. Now you think bertha is a big lass, her husband is twice the size! I grab one of the lads, not too happy with me walking into his grot at 03:15am and dragging him out to go pick [email protected] features up.

    Anyhow, long story short, neither of the lads learned a thing, near enough every weekend I'd be hailed upon to call in the rescue mission :?
    • Like Like x 1
  6. Are you in fact the first natural born Shark Watch???
    Could have done with you on a few of my nights out :wink:
  7. Ship company of Arethusa paying off in Pompey with another Leander and were all in Joannas where the bouncers are not known for their sense of humour. Cut a long story short a couple of Guzz rates got a slapping and the obligatory chuck down the stairs. The meat heads were pretty pleased with themselves until two leanders' worth of matelots started singing the oggy song and proceded to "educate" said meat heads, a night they will not forget. Even the weather girls got hoofed out by us (anyone remember them)? Dlightful creatures.
  8. Nope, just unlucky :wink: apparently my social life didn't matter when it came to the lads needing saving!
  9. Nope, just unlucky :wink: apparently my social life didn't matter when it came to the lads needing saving![/quote]

    awwww bless. Still it does make you a very worthy run ashore oppo :D
  10. Nice one. When I was on the Penny many years ago we did a similar thing in Jo's and ended up getting chucked out. In fact it was a great weekend in Pompey and us Guzz boys had a whale of a time. Rolling car tyres down the Guildhall steps, scrapping with the mush boys in the Mucky Duck, Yorkie Grey and the Mighty Fine.

    Not sure how true it was, but rumour has it the Reggies turned up on the ship Sunday morning and asked to see the skipper and then informed him that his ships company had caused more trouble in 2 nights than the Invincible does in a week! and he was to stop all leave until the ship sailed on the Monday morning. His reply: "This is MY ships company and they work hard for me and in turn I let them play hard, now get off my ship"

    Peter Vincent Rickard, a great skipper and I take my hat off to you.

    Yes, I do remember the weather girls and their 'little' crowd of slappers who used to hang around the DJ area. Lovely girls they were. :)
  11. It always amazed me how fat they were, if I had had in my mouth what they had had in theirs over the years I would never eat again !!!!!! :oops:
  12. Been there - Good buzz :cry:

  13. Pass that one by me again.
  14. my secrect shame, I once qued to get into jesters...............on a wednesday night............ half an hour before it opened
  15. made it in to Joanna's only once b 4 they shut it down, all the navy's trousers were at half mast that day. What a class establishment.! :lol:
    Entry qals : Male = matlot and desperate
    female = under 4ft 6in and over 18 stone 8O :lol:

    does anyone know which is the "REAL" RNSD (royal navy school of Dancing) heard of lots, but is there a deffinitive one? :?: :?
  16. The GX in Plymouth? I once trapped there on one of those "Okay, I'm only going out for a quick pint because I've got to be up at 0500 tomorrow" nights. Didn't even know her name until I got a letter from her a couple of weeks later, addressed to me, c/o The Royal Navy, Plymouth! That's what I call a real mail tracking system! :)
  17. I wonder if joey is still alive
  18. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    To be honest mucker, he probably died when this thread did.
  19. Don't be nasty to the timelord ;)
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  20. There's always Captain Jacks in Inverkeithing

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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