Jay Igaboo's Rants

#1
Gary took to the stage on Tuesday to put on a concert for the guys, but, sadly, after performing just two songs, his audience was ordered back to the tents after an alarm was raised.
A spokesperson for the Ministry of Defence said, "A performance by Gary Barlow was cut short for operational reasons."

Operational reasons being he is shit and morale took a beating when the lads realised a pair of tits on legs wasn't turning up.




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You knob, I bet you told the kids Santa died of AIDS.
The concert was brilliant, and the troops were buzzing when it was over.
I posted this to some old conrades and othe rfiriends last night

"I've just promoted Gary Barlow from Pop Prat to Top Man, 1st Class after watching "Gary Barlow - journey to Afghanistan"on ITV.
He spent a week in Afghan getting to see what the lads and lassies did on the ground, then getting a band together from various units. He was clearly given a new perspective whilst there, helped by a fire-fight taking place not too far away outsideof bastion's walls.
Then he did a concert for the troops at Bastion after recruiting four serving women for his backing singers (with an RAF officer getting a short solo) and a good- looking young medic who sang "Your Amazing" really well in a solo spot. Someone threw a pair of knickers at him-probably a Marine or a sailor hoping to get lucky, ha! ha!

Also conscripted were a rather elederly guitar- playing lance-jack( TA maybe?) and bandsmen from the Royal Horse Artillery.
The concert was great, there was sheer joy on the faces of the lads and lasses ( the laws of physics must have shifted into another dimension as they militate against wee skinny 5ft 2" females muscling 6ft-3" plus walls of Marine and Army muscle out of the way to get to the front, but somehow, they did!)
The girls in particular were loving it, they weren't in Afghan for the duration of songs they could bop along too. Some even had made up "Take That" symbols out of balloons.
He picked a particularly poignant song to finish on Michael Buble's "Home" and there were tears from the girls, and messages held up for loved ones back home from many of those present, which caused this grizzled old Para to feel quite moved.
Take a bow, Mr. Barlow.
You've never deserved one more.

Well worth watching on ITV Player if you missed it."









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#3
Oooops!!

Ooops! Sorry it most certainly wasn't meant for you, it was for one/all of the sour-faced cnuts whose great joy in life is to find a speck of shit sticking on a golden fleece. I went to the 'pooter to post out some well-wishes our Crimbo dinner and saw yours.
I checked to see if you were indeed one of the aforementioned cnuts, but Isee that reamed them yourself: that was my first post on The Rum Ration, not to au fait with the set -up yet, so my appoppologgies to you,
and a Very Merry Christmas to you and yours.
And even to the sour-facced cnuts, may Santa bring them a sackful of smiles, or a rubber doll to fill their lonely lives and thus mellow them.
 
#5
Thanks, Mate.
First comment, right ammo, but next time I'll get my sights zeroed and PID drills established before letting rip!

Hope you had a nice Christmas; in my house me, two sons and two cats are all semi too fully comatose after having O.D.-ed on turkey with all the trimmings!
Just as it should be.
We take too much for granted, here's hoping for better days for others less fortunate.
 
#6
I guess there's a mutually beneficial trade-off whenever a celebrity visits the Armed Forces & six posts on the same subject by Soleil indicates she probably approves, one imagines.
For a fleeting moment many of us were fans of Jim Davidson when he visited the Falklands, post conflict and gave a series of shows on more than one occasion. Since then, many have since revised their view of him but he was "of the time" and certainly reflected the psyche of the British serviceman in the 1980' s. In those days bizarrely, racism, sexism & bigotry were found to be amusing and the entertainment industry reflected it. Nowadays it's celebrity focussed (X Factor, talent shows, etc) but at least it's not offensive.

Personally, I'd rather be visited by Gary Barlow than a smarmy politician whose foreign policy was a complete crock.
"In those days bizarrely, racism, sexism & bigotry were found to be amusing ".............." In those days bizarrely, racism, sexism & bigotry were found to be amusing"...... and the still are, and it is not considered "bizarre" other than by those with their heads located in their own personal Khyber Pass area, to with, those adherents of PC, the bastard child of Marxism, and of course, their priggish useful idiots.( BTW, you forgot to mention "homophobia" which is a rich source of many a good joke.
The entire range of the human condition and experience eventually becomes a source of humour.
It's a way that normal people deal with the risible, the distasteful, the absurdities and even the tragedies of life.
Couldn't agree more with you on politicians though.
Even Jo Brand would be better than a visit from one- -oh, wait a minute, maybe not, she's a fat feminist munter .
A half -hour of listening to her would prompt many a squaddie to shed the Kevlar.





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#7
There 's easier ways of promoting a record than sitting on a Herc till your eardrums bursts and your arse bleeds, then spending a week in Afghan (even if he never went outside Bastion.)
Sure he took advantage of te show to publicise his record, but I realiy do doubt if that was his primary goal.
 

Ninja_Stoker

War Hero
Moderator
#8
The fact someone doesn't necessarily share entirely the same viewpoint as another person doesn't really justify assuming they're wrong, whichever viewpoint they hold.


Think before you gob off Percy.
 
#9
"The fact someone doesn't necessarily share entirely the same viewpoint as another person doesn't really justify assuming they're wrong, whichever viewpoint they hold. "....... I didn't say that it did.

The obverse obtains. it doesn't justify assuming that they are right either, Percy.

Ity' PC twats like you who want to shut down the expression of opinions, not me.

" "
 

Ninja_Stoker

War Hero
Moderator
#10
"The fact someone doesn't necessarily share entirely the same viewpoint as another person doesn't really justify assuming they're wrong, whichever viewpoint they hold. "....... I didn't say that it did.

The obverse obtains. it doesn't justify assuming that they are right either, Percy.

Ity' PC twats like you who want to shut down the expression of opinions, not me.

" "
Mate, you really need to get your anger management issues sorted, learn how to use the quote button and use words you know the meaning of, otherwise anyone could be forgiven for thinking you are talking bollocks.
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#11
"In those days bizarrely, racism, sexism & bigotry were found to be amusing ".............." In those days bizarrely, racism, sexism & bigotry were found to be amusing"...... and the still are, and it is not considered "bizarre" other than by those with their heads located in their own personal Khyber Pass area, to with, those adherents of PC, the bastard child of Marxism, and of course, their priggish useful idiots.( BTW, you forgot to mention "homophobia" which is a rich source of many a good joke.
The entire range of the human condition and experience eventually becomes a source of humour.
It's a way that normal people deal with the risible, the distasteful, the absurdities and even the tragedies of life.
Couldn't agree more with you on politicians though.
Even Jo Brand would be better than a visit from one- -oh, wait a minute, maybe not, she's a fat feminist munter .
A half -hour of listening to her would prompt many a squaddie to shed the Kevlar.
What the **** are you dribbling about? Did your carer leave the lid off the sherry after the Queen's Speech..? :?
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#13
Gladly. If it encourages you to **** off elsewhere.

But when I want your advice, I’ll give you the special signal. Which is me being sectioned under the Mental Health Act.
 
#14
I'll learn the ins and outs of this system when I can be Ars*d to so so, not when you tell me.
Name one word that I have not understood the meaning of.
I'm sorry if words of three or more syllables are a bit hard for you to manage, so I'll keep it simple as obviously you have a real struggle to grasp anything other than what you have been spoon-fed.
You can have the last word, life's too short to waste typing out endless replies to mongs.
 

sgtpepperband

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#16
I'll learn the ins and outs of this system when I can be Ars*d to so so, not when you tell me.
Name one word that I have not understood the meaning of.
I'm sorry if words of three or more syllables are a bit hard for you to manage, so I'll keep it simple as obviously you have a real struggle to grasp anything other than what you have been spoon-fed.
You can have the last word, life's too short to waste typing out endless replies to mongs.
Fuckity Bye..! :thumbleft:
 
#17
Is extant.
From my Collins Concise English Dictionary; -" Is customary, valid or accepted", therefore completely appropriate and in the context .
No charge for furthering your education. I'm kind-hearted that way.
 
#19
"It " didn't Google when it used "obtains" in "its" post; logically, "it" already knew the full meaning and the contexts in which it could be used.
You think my profile is "interesting" ? It ain't the half of me, the good, the bad and the inbetwixt. Anyhoo, to much computer for me, byee!
 
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