Jaffa

Discussion in 'Health & Fitness' started by angry_mac, Apr 11, 2008.

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  1. At 1230 pm today Im letting a RN surgeon at my plums, yes my days of adding to the gene pool are finally over. In a desperate attempt to have conjugals again (the missus came off the pill) Im due to go under the knife. Over the past 6 months the horror stories have far outweighed happy endings, so slightly apprehensive now.
    Knowing my luck and Derriford's reputation, going in a fit happy go lucky matelot, coming out 6 months later 4 stone lighter due to being struck down by C difficile. oh well :sign12:
     
  2. Had mine done under a local anaesthetic at a clinic in Liverpool on a Friday, played 36 holes of golf the following Monday no problem.
    Bloke over the road (a fireman) had his done under a general anaesthetic at the local hospital on the same day, he was trundling his nads around in a wheelbarrow for weeks, they swelled up that much........
    pays your money and takes your chance!!!! Good luck!
     
  3. My uncle has 3 kids and I asked him if he was going to have any more. This was his reply.

    “The factory has closed, it is just an entertainment centre nowâ€

    Turns out he also had the Snip, Snip!
     
  4. One of the Pommies had his done on the Glasgow out the Gulf.

    The operation was transmitted live on CCTV, and it took the place of the nightly Tom and Jerry.

    Gruesome, truly gruesome!
     
  5. Thanks for that info, I've tried golf a few times but always struggled to get the ball to leave the floor, but not tried it since the Op - I'll give it a go, I'm amazed that it will make such a difference
     
  6. My brother in law got an infection, it swelled up to the size of a grapefruit and superated (I so like that word!) for nearly three weeks.
     
  7. You may need a Zen moment, before .....Snip & Proceed :blob4:
     
  8. I had it done 28 years ago. Not nice. Inject into plum. Cut...Arrggg..To soon. :rambo:
     
  9. Mine shriveled up in early puberty, so I've never needed to bother. What you don't have you don't miss... Mind you, I am curious...... it is nice? :angel4:
     
  10. doesnt bear thinking about :pukel:
     
  11. Well i survived, although rather sore. It has its fringe benefits, i.e. being treated like invalided king by the wife.
    I think the local anaesthtic in each nad was probably the most uncomfortable feeling ever. But having 3 nurses, two doctors all staring at your nads whislt they make run for it up into my body remains with me forever. Then the pinching and tugging..... bizarre.
    So far so good not swelling like two footballs and suparating, but I remain apprehensive, back to work Monday. where the real test begins, I certainly not going up the mast to do any outstanding aerial maintenance this week. In fact may just spend a lot of time in mess getting comfortable (no change there then).
     
  12. I had it done at Haslar and felt great for a couple of days.
    I then went on leave the following week and woke up one morning in lots of pain with 'very large' plums.
    The local GP had a look, sent me off to hospital where I spent 5 days before the docs finally took a scalpel to them and removed the pus.
    Very painful and very embarrassing as every day there were 4 young trainee docs looking and prodding.
    (This was in Skye, so probably not used to seeing anything too exciting).
     
  13. Laying on a cold operating table having the
    marbles de-lagged I noticed the skull-faced
    "surgeon" approaching my nether-regions with
    a hoofing great hypodermic syringe. In it went.
    Up I went - arching my back like I was possessed
    by Satan......after the sweet agony subsided and
    I went parallel to the table again I said "Thank
    f**k THAT'S done". The grinning body snatcher
    replies, "Yes....that's your port nut sent to sleep -
    now for your starboard bollock......"
    Took three days to learn how to walk properly again.
     
  14. What is the actual point of having a vasectomie?
    I mean if ya wife/girlfriend leaves you she can still have kids and you can`t, plus u can`t have anymore with her and if u don`t want any more kids with her then just use a CD.And also y not just u no instead lol.
     

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