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Jack Sh*t

SONAR-BENDER

War Hero
I was sent this today and felt I had to share it with you lot! :D


For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!'

Well, thanks to genealogical efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.

Awe Schitt was married to O. Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, and owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition who was nick-named Chicken Schitt.

Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.

The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials.

The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world.

He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them.

Sincerely,

Crock O. Schitt
 

FlagWagger

GCM
Book Reviewer
Scouse_Castaway said:
........... Priceless :blob6:

Many antiques are... and this one is certainly in the antique category! Believe it or not, this one pre-dates the Internet by several years... yes children, there was life and humour before the Internet!
 

Topstop

War Hero
FlagWagger said:
Scouse_Castaway said:
........... Priceless :blob6:

Many antiques are... and this one is certainly in the antique category! Believe it or not, this one pre-dates the Internet by several years... yes children, there was life and humour before the Internet!

Still good though, not heard it in ages :D
 
FlagWagger said:
Scouse_Castaway said:
........... Priceless :blob6:

Many antiques are... and this one is certainly in the antique category! Believe it or not, this one pre-dates the Internet by several years... yes children, there was life and humour before the Internet!

Was that when the world was in black and white Grandad ? :roll:
 

Merlin28

War Hero
Rodgersthecabinboy said:
FlagWagger said:
Scouse_Castaway said:
........... Priceless :blob6:

Many antiques are... and this one is certainly in the antique category! Believe it or not, this one pre-dates the Internet by several years... yes children, there was life and humour before the Internet!

Was that when the world was in black and white Grandad ? :roll:

And all the lamps were gas and you couldn't see your hand in front of your face from all the smog generated by the factories.
 
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