Jack on the Pull !!

So, there’s this matelot dancing around Joannas. He spots (unbelievably) a nice looking girl in the corner. He asks her if she'd like a drink to which she replies "To be honest, do you just fancy taking me home?" So, he takes her home and gets invited in. She asks "Do you mind me asking but, are you a sailor?"

At this point, he knows he has blown it but tells her that he is indeed a sailor.

"Oh that's great because my grandad was a sailor and you're the first one I've ever met!
... ...
"Do you smoke?"

Well, Jack's over the moon and he answers "yes" whereby she goes out into the kitchen and brings out 100 Blue Liners. "You can have these if you like as I don't smoke and they've been in the cupboard for ages.

"Do you drink?"

Jack asks for a lager but instead she comes back with a bottle of Pussers Rum. At this point, he looks up to the heaven and thanks the 'God of Sailors' for this goldmine.

"Do you mind if I slip into something more comfortable?" she asks to Jack's delight.

When she returns she is wearing a see through nightie with every ship's cap tally, past and present, sewn in the hem. Jack can't believe his luck !!

Then she says "now, I have another lovely surprise waiting for you in my bedroom”

“**** me” says Jack “Don’t tell me you’ve got an Uckers board in there
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