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Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by NZ_Bootneck, Jun 3, 2008.

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  1. Hi I'm new at this sort of thing so be gentle with me, just to get the ball rolling, here's mine.
    Why do so many prospective recruits nowadays seem to be nearsighted/farsighted/blind/asthmatic/missing a limb and or grey matter ? Do Playstations and Xboxs encourage the halt and lame into thinking that because they can whip through Medal of Hono(u)r in World Record time that they are suitable material to serve in the Paramarine Recon Ranger Battalion?
    Answers on a postcard to....
  2. We all started somewhere and a recruiter once let you in the door!!

  3. I'm gonna guess it's because we live in a H&S-driven world now. Gone are the days when you can have minor accidents and live; in fact my boss tried to send me to A&E one day with a (okay, fairly deep) papercut. It's ridiculous. If you have a tummy ache it's OBVIOUSLY appendicitis/bowel cancer/morning sickness. What's indigestion anyway?

    But I'm going off-topic. It's also about money. I was told three different things by three different opticians before my RN medical, and the two more commercial places decided my vision was so awful I would have to buy the most expensive glasses they had to offer. Funnily enough, the private doc told me I had nothing to worry about, and the RN agreed.

    I don't have a playstation. I wish I did. Medal of Honour sounds like a grand idea.
  4. I longed to be a steam train driver.

    Beeching put an end to that career before it started! TAWT! I remember the time when you could jump on a train day or night at anytime. Now we have there may be one on Thursday!! If it is not vandalised.

    It is a sad fact that for many of us old timers we are fitter than our kids!!!

    I spotted one obese woman with enough food in her trolley to feed those poor souls in Calcutta for a week. If they carved some of the fat of her hips it would keep a oil lamp going for years. How can people let themselves get in that state.

    It is my genes, It is my glands. Bollocks. I have had a heart attack I must get fit. Do it before it happens and be quick about it!!

    One guy on the last Ryan Air flight was so obese he needed a extension belt for his seat. God help us all if he fell in the doorway in a emergency exit I thought to myself it would be like getting a sperm whale through a letter box.

    The best ever was a obese bloke eating an Indian meal and throwing lager into his ever expanding gut. He was so obese he had to stop for a rest while eating his meal. Have a breather then start again. Sweat dripping into his curry!

    I should have signed him up for a weight watchers video it would have made millions. The question I would ask. How do they bury these people. And if they are cremated how long does the fire burn for??
  5. burials are easy....


    Cremation not advised....


  6. It's because of all the press about paedo's running around trying to snatch kids whereas when I was a kid it was still going on but not so many people knew about it. Ma & Pa know the little oiks should be out climbing trees and doing grand national jumps over peoples fences but they are much happier with them larding around playing games inside,
    Sadly I would say they have a 99% more chance of dying from lard related injuries than getting topped by some perv. That's why the armed forces have to settle for what they can get now,
  7. Harsh, but true :bball:
    I however took on board the official RM message that the course might be a little bit hard and didn't throw my toys out of the pram because I wouldn't be able to go on 'special missions' within weeks of signing on, or that because of pesky rules my poor eyesight which prevents me from seeing in the dark would prevent me from joining at all.
    It's all very well being supportive of young thrusters whose chances of joining let alone passing out as a Royal Marine are slim from the outset from what they post on here, but I think they should be warned that they've got a hard road ahead, don't you?
  8. NZ, what you forget is that unlike you and a lot of others (myself included), these kids are more than capable of going SF/Sniper straight away, they have seen Steven Segal and Played COD until their eyes bleed. They don't need to worry about minor stuff like Endurance course and speed marches etc etc...


    It wuz after a few weeks of hard training that we wuz sent to ward of the communist invasion of the Isle of Man. The Corp was short handed at the time hence the reason fully trained ranks wuz not sent.

    It wuz on the second invasion attempt by the commie bstards that the govt of the Isle of Man awarded us all with the coveted Legs of Man "Medal of Honor" with Crossed Keys Cluster and our names added to the Viking Hall of Fame at Ramsey for being true warriors. True to bootie let's just do the job and hit Okells brewery later "Corripe Cervisiam" this daring deed was never reported in the press at the time.
  10. Is it true that the van following on behind the speed marchers is to pick up everybody who feels a bit tired and want a lift instead? If so can I bring my own selection of tunes to play on the stereo?
  11. No the Safety Wagon carries the half way break snacks and drinks.
    You'd be surprised how refreshing a bottle of Coke, a packet of crisps, a Mars Bar, a Snickers bar, another bottle of Coke and a fag can be when you're doing the 9 Miler.
  12. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    What's actually quite interesting is the historically disparaging comments of each generation in relation to the one that follows. My own experience of this is purely service related, but doubtless it occurs in the real world too.
    There's always been the perception that "it were 'arder in my day" and indeed I used to go along with that assumption until I transfered into the Careers Service & actually have to sit, interview & actually listen to these young people.

    Yes, we communicate differently, but think about it for a minute.

    Many of us will remember the introduction of pocket calculators and the comments that kids wouldn't be able to do mental arithmetic, likewise today we (myself included) despair about the use of 'txt spk' and the fact that that youngsters may not be able to spell correctly. What we should have been wondering was: "Do we need to be able to do mental arithmetic or use correct grammar?" Shakespeare wasn't arsed about it, he even kept spelling his own name differently, but he seems to have got by. The fixation with correct spelling is simply a Victorian hang-up for those who have a bit of spare time.

    Most of the perceived "shortcomings" of todays' "yoof" are actually caused by their parents & grandparents. Erm, us actually.
  13. And they know how to programme the VCR/DVD recorder or get in your car without causing damage when you lock yourself out of it!
  14. Is it a truth or myth the trainees at Raleigh were once issue yellow/red cards to ward of the instructors if they felt a little hassled??
  15. You mean you got a break?? :thumright:
  16. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Yes. But the idea didn't last too long, especially when used against certain Flagship personnel... :twisted:
  17. What is a bone question? :pirat:
  18. Is it catching? will there be a epidemic?
  19. Are slugs just homeless snails?
  20. mmmmhm slugs and snails;
    Q.why do jennys and all other females have legs?
    A. have you noticed the fkucin mess that slugs and snails leave behind.

    UP SPIRITS.................SPLICEEEEEEERS!!!!

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