It didn't work.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Rumrat, Oct 15, 2010.

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  1. So I thought I would do the public spirited stuff and became a voluntary crossing warden. (Lollipop person)
    First pit fall is kids. The gobby little piss taking sh1ts that deserve to be run over. In fact given time I would have gone and got my car and done it myself. They take longer to cross the road than the Israelites took with the friggin Red sea. Add to that some of them change there minds halfway and turn back.
    Then there is the motorists. Whilst I fully concur with their desire to kill the little, persons on the crossing, the big problem would be for me that I'm out there with them. Now I would give the motorist a bit of sport by lowering the pole and legging it for the pavement, the little bastards,...sorry persons can run faster than me.
    Mmm not a plan.
    So I thought if I start to go out then stay behind them I could lull them into a sense of false security. Don't work, they have a sixth sense, as lollipop people have probably tried it in the past.
    They just won't help me anyway to kill them.
    So I couldn't abandon my post as its illegal apparently so I carried on.
    When the appointed time arrived I switched off the warning lights, took off the stupid coat and went to cross the road to shove the pole into the playground. That's when the twot in the red friggin mini tried to kill me. Probably in revenge for me assisting the horrible hoard across the road thus spoiling his kill rate. I immediately told him where the pole might be stored besides the playground and offered to help him stow it.
    Turns out he worked in the school so I am now an ex lollipop person as naval slang and associated terminology are not part of the school curriculum. Apparently.

    Have you failed in your civic duty? :oops: :roll:
  2. Currently volunteering with a local Special Needs youth organization and really enjoying it. However the vetting proceedure was made stressful by the apparent inability of the CRB lot to get my address right. Bloody hate administrators sometimes.

    Not failed in my civic duty yet but it might be close if the bunch of gobby chavs that turn up outside every time the kids are in the centre keep pissing me off. One of the fcukers thinks its great to throw conkers at the disabled kids.

    Murder lies on the horizon
  3. Similar problem here with yobs outside the local youth club for 10 to 16 year olds.
    But the cavalry arrived when this geezer Paul turns up from nowhere, and becomes a volunteer. He goes outside and reads the riot act and throws down a few gift wrapped threats. The yobs take them home and the following Thursday three daddy yobs descend doing the defence of the yobs act. Paul talks to them for a while with his mouth, but them he decides to talk with his fist head feet etc. My lad was talking to him next day at the shop. He comes around my house and asks me what "Condor" is. I explained immediately it is pipe tobacco. So my son tells me Paul was stationed at pipe tobacco.
    Paul now runs a very well attended centre, and wears a green school berry every Nov 11th.
    We have a good "Fairy" in attendance.

    Quick add on, the council rang this morning to ask if I have decided to not do the crossing. I was told yesterday that I would not be required as my attitude to Mr H.......... was aggressive and threatening. I tried to explain that I did not consider some twot coming through a school gate at mach 2 very endearing either but hey ho.
  4. Sorry to hear your attempt to be public spirited came to nought Rummers but can't help feeling it was for the best.It would not have been long before you or one of your charges ended up in A&E or the lollipop inserted fat end first into some impatient driver's gob.The Mini driver did you a favour and you may survive to draw your pension even yet. :wink:
  5. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

  6. I could never get on with the lollipop lady outside my School.

    She always made me cross !!!!

    TAXI :oops:
  7. A Traffic Cop (now retired) told me some years ago that all Crossing Wardens should always carry a piece of chalk. The reason for this is to write the registration number within the black band of the Stop sign (forming the lollipop) of any vehicle that illegally passes the sign. This is then passed to the Police and forms part of the prosecution.

    So just in case you ever get mowed down by 'Stevy Subaru' outside school with half a class of of year 2's, make sure you have a stick of chalk at hand!
  8. Agreed, dodge ball with conkers and scouse spackers sounds f0ckin' hoofin'.
  9. Naughty Step for you two unless you have some Red laboons to make ammends.
  10. I've got some vanilla ice cream in the freezer, some multicoloured cones and some 5 year old Dora the Explorer balloons.
    Will that do?
  11. I might burn in hell as a result but that sounds pretty fcuking funny
  12. As long as I can sit next to the window on the bus
  13. I'll stock up on the Windowlene toot suite. :wink:

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