It could only happen to Stan

Many years ago I was killick of the trainees block in Dryad, times were hard pusser was even more skint than it is now. The lads mess kit lockers were fcuked someone suggested I take some of the P3 trainees waiting to be drafted down to the dockyard to see if we could get our hands on anything useful from the ships awaiting disposal. I sent the lads round the museum while I did a quick recce so armed with a pussers right angle I slunked aboard HMS Reclaim, there was no shore supply and I wasn't familiar with the old diving tender.
I climbed down several decks and entered one of the messes, I heard the door shut behind me and only having my pussers torch I started to get a bit twitchy in the faint light coming from the torch so I thought fcuk it I'm offsky back up top, tried the door FCUK ME it was locked I pulled and pulled on the fecker but it wouldn't open and to make matters worse my batteries were fading fast I was shitting myself no one knew I was onboard no phones I thought fcuk me I'm a gonner I must have sat there a hour wondering what the fcuk I could do, I decided to have another look around with what light there was left in my torch in despair I realised I was a gonner the only exit was that fcuking door I I pulled and pulled again shouting me fcuking head off in the end I just leaned on the door out of ideas - and the fcuker opened OUTWARDS, what a cunt, I shot up those fcuking ladders faster than a dockyard moggy AND I didn't tell any fcuker till now.
Sad, sad recollections Stan. However it did bring back some good memories for me. Pier head jumped to HMS Plymouth da before sailing to the Windies, no fridge in the mess. Went walk about in the dockyard where they were just decommissioning a carrier. Then out of the heavens there appeared an almost brand new fridge being lowered by crane onto the dockside.
grab trolley, crane driver dropped his load straight on and Trelawney disappeared. Other successes doing Dockyard RAS included carpet from the Royal Yacht, antique long wooded dressing table for mess square in Haslar and a couple of other bits.
Must have taken all your luck Stan
Nice one Stan. I remember having a look round the old Reclaim once, long time ago. There was an old salt literally "sat on a bollard" splicing some rope. He had a full set, was wearing his Chief's cap at the most jaunty angle, and it was a bloody black one!

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