Is this Heaven Heaven means different things to different people. So perhaps we can come up with a few examples. The Matelot The bars never shut. You are never on watch. Happy hour lasts all day. All the lady sailors are Divs There are No divisions or Kit Musters. Officers never piss you off. Shit on a raft is available for breakfast and babies heads for lunch. You always trap She always says yes You never get a blobby knob. The Poofter All matelots are gay All bums are available All wrists are Limp Everyone minces. Everyone speaks with a lisp. The gay bars have pretty drinks You can cruise anywhere Public toilets have peepholes already drilled. The police are all gay. You always trap. The Lesbian All matelots are female All matelots are lezzers. Your vibrator batteries never run out. There are lots of trains and buses to drive. It smells like a fish market. The male clothing fits properly Mr Dyson designs the vibrators You always trap. So lets see what heaven is like for others Feel free to enlighten us.