Is this Heaven

Is this Heaven
Heaven means different things to different people.
So perhaps we can come up with a few examples.

The Matelot
The bars never shut.
You are never on watch.
Happy hour lasts all day.
All the lady sailors are Divs
There are No divisions or Kit Musters.
Officers never piss you off.
Shit on a raft is available for breakfast and babies heads for lunch.
You always trap
She always says yes
You never get a blobby knob.

The Poofter
All matelots are gay
All bums are available
All wrists are Limp
Everyone minces.
Everyone speaks with a lisp.
The gay bars have pretty drinks
You can cruise anywhere
Public toilets have peepholes already drilled.
The police are all gay.
You always trap.

The Lesbian
All matelots are female
All matelots are lezzers.
Your vibrator batteries never run out.
There are lots of trains and buses to drive.
It smells like a fish market.
The male clothing fits properly
Mr Dyson designs the vibrators
You always trap.

So lets see what heaven is like for others
Feel free to enlighten us.
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