Is joining the RN compatible with wanting to start a family in the future?

#1
Hi, I'm 21 and in my second year of university at the moment and I'm considering applying for the logistics officer role. However, my fiancé and I definitely want to have a family one day so is working in the navy a good idea? How often would I get to see my family? And what it is like for kids having a parent in the navy? Thanks for any feedback.
 
#2
Navy nothing changes.jpg
This is what its like for children, having a parent in the Navy....;) Seriously. It can be hard being away from Your children for extended periods of time.But the time spent with them seems sweeter then. Also hard for a partner left on the beach as well. They get into a routine raising a family in Your absence, then You come back,and much as their glad to see You. it can seem a bit disruptive for them. You'll work it out.
 
#3
Just look at the thousands before you who survived marriage, the RN and a career!!!!
Its the pair of 'you' that have to make it work not the Navy!!!!
 
#5
There are advantages and disadvantages. Obviously there will be time away, and this is difficult for the reasons SARKING already mentioned. This varies by branch - I think warfare officers get the most sea time. There are only generally two posts for logistics officers on surface escorts (none on smaller ships usually) so you're potentially looking at one sea-going deployment per rank - it's worth finding/asking a serving logistics officer to give you an idea of career progression and likely drafts. Your AFCO/ACLO should be able to put you in touch with one (in fact, most ACLOs are logs officers!)

There is a lot of support available to service families, including subsidised accommodation near to where you are based. Service children get extra funding and support at school. The pay is pretty good for supporting a family. "Jobs" change every 2 years or so, and could mean either leaving your family behind (returning for leave etc, possibly even weekends) or relocating them.

As Waspie said, thousands have done it before you. Some even go to BRNC/Raleigh as ready-made parents.
 
#6
Depends on how solid your relationship is, I know service marriages that are 30+years long surviving the Andrew and after. I know several of the same generation who are on their 3rd marriage. I also know Civvies in both situations
 
#7
when I joined I was 16 & single, married at 21, did 24 in RN, still married, 38 years on, you need a partner strong enough to survive on their own, obviously whilst spending your salary, It's not for everyone one, but not a bad life. Being at sea as the kids grow up, is not all bad. When I would phone home forgetting the time zone difference after a few beers, she was not always to impressed?
 

Spare_Rib

Lantern Swinger
#8
I’m a serving parent, married to a serving parent: feel free to drop me a message. As with all marriages it’s a balance and some comprise. And don’t assume that Logistics Officers don’t rack up separation. Although we obviously don’t have as many through-career ship assignments, there’s still plenty of deploying and foreign jobs in Bahrain, Battle Staffs, deplorable Squadrons etc. In terms of being serving parents one of our major comprises is that even when we’re both UK based, one of us always seems to have to be a single parent during the week as the other one is based somewhere else. But this is no different to those with civvie partners settled away from base port I guess.
 
#9
when I joined I was 16 & single, married at 21, did 24 in RN, still married, 38 years on, you need a partner strong enough to survive on their own, obviously whilst spending your salary, It's not for everyone one, but not a bad life. Being at sea as the kids grow up, is not all bad. When I would phone home forgetting the time zone difference after a few beers, she was not always to impressed?
Mmmmmmm, sounds familiar!!!
 
#11
when I joined I was 16 & single, married at 21, did 24 in RN, still married, 38 years on, you need a partner strong enough to survive on their own, obviously whilst spending your salary, It's not for everyone one, but not a bad life. Being at sea as the kids grow up, is not all bad. When I would phone home forgetting the time zone difference after a few beers, she was not always to impressed?
I think my fiancé and I could handle the separation as we already live in two different countries anyway and don't see each other that often in the first place. I'm just concerned that if we have kids they'll suffer.
 
#12
I think my fiancé and I could handle the separation as we already live in two different countries anyway and don't see each other that often in the first place. I'm just concerned that if we have kids they'll suffer.
If you are able to find a permenant location where any kids dont have to move about, (geographicaly), they should be fine. My two sons suffered educationaly as a result of my relocating but it worked out in the end. Thanks to drafty moving me back so that the boys could finish their education.
Its never going to be simple but you can make it work. As I said initially. Thousands before you have. Yours isnt a unique situation
 
#13
I’m a serving parent, married to a serving parent: feel free to drop me a message. As with all marriages it’s a balance and some comprise. And don’t assume that Logistics Officers don’t rack up separation. Although we obviously don’t have as many through-career ship assignments, there’s still plenty of deploying and foreign jobs in Bahrain, Battle Staffs, deplorable Squadrons etc. In terms of being serving parents one of our major comprises is that even when we’re both UK based, one of us always seems to have to be a single parent during the week as the other one is based somewhere else. But this is no different to those with civvie partners settled away from base port I guess.
Hi thank you very much for responding. Seeing as you are both in the navy, how does childcare work? Also as a LO what percentage of a year would you be away from home? Thank you :)
 
#14
I think my fiancé and I could handle the separation as we already live in two different countries anyway and don't see each other that often in the first place. I'm just concerned that if we have kids they'll suffer.
Did you see a lot of each other before he left the UK?

Looking at this from a relationship point of view, I would recommend that you try to spend much more time together, as knowing each other well before you get married will give you a better insight into how the two of you would cope with any of the kind of difficulties you will encounter in marriage, above and beyond those which might be linked to being deployed and arranging childcare.

Could you make an effort to see each other more often? Does he not come back to the UK on a regular basis?
 

Spare_Rib

Lantern Swinger
#15
Hi thank you very much for responding. Seeing as you are both in the navy, how does childcare work? Also as a LO what percentage of a year would you be away from home? Thank you :)
There’s a regulation for SWDC: Service Couple with Dependant Children. In a nutshell in means that until your eldest child is 11 the RN will endeavour (not guarantee) to keep one of you in a non-deployable role in the UK. So we manage childcare around one of us being in a UK job and the children being with that person. We’ve found an au pair invaluable, as have many of my colleagues in a similar position (Brexit may put a stop to this, but that’s a whole new thread!). What percentage of time does an LO spend away - that’s really tricky to answer as it’s totally dependent on career stage, job/career field choices, state of the world! For example as a junior Lt I did 4x 6 month tours of Afghanistan along with 2x 6 month ship deployments and a handful of ‘embarked staff’ detachments onboard a Carrier. Now I work in my base port in the UK and am lucky if I’m away from home a few nights a month. My other half works away from home Monday-Thursday. But prior to this I was based onboard a ship and was deployed for 9 months while my other half was in a UK job looking after the kids. If I had to summerise: you can make it work but it’s not without sacrifice; both in terms of time with your children and potentially career wise as one of you will have to choose a non-deploying job at some stage. I hope this is useful.
 
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