Is It Wrong?

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Blackrat, Oct 20, 2009.

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  1. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I was walking to the tube station from work yesterday when i spied in the distance, coming towards me, a woman wearing the shortest skirt i've ever seen and high heels. As she approached ever closer, i have to admit, i got the major horn. The fact that it was freezing and she had the nuts to wear that clobber made it even better. To add even more to the attraction, she had that dirty look about her, you know, that look that says to you "Go on, do me up the wrong 'un. You know you want to and i must be punished."

    When she was about 5 metres or so from me, i gave her a big smile, which she reciprocated. It was at this stage that i saw she did have some nuts after all, as "her" adams apple was all too apparant and she had hands like Pat fucking Jennings.

    But do you know what? If i was drunk i'd have done it.
     
  2. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Your Mum's got big hands?! :shock: :wink:
     
  3. If its ok for the Kinks to sing about it - then its ok by me. Their word is my gospel.

    PS - cant blame him/er for the "do me up the wrong un look" - I mean, the options are limited.

    but no less appealling

    Who said that??
     
  4. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Mahoosive. We have to have a safe word when we play our special game "The Boston Strangler". She can pick up skips with them and crumble housebricks with just one squeeze.
     
  5. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I think I know her... used to work in a bukkake bar inb Tokyo, right? Walks with a lisp? Looks like Patrick Swayze?! Has got a cum-guzzling thirst like John Mills in "Ice Cold in Alex"? I thought she'd been sectioned in Broadmoor for killing her Uncle, who used to touch her in "Her Special Place"? :twisted: :lol:
     
  6. Do you mean she's green and stiff?
     
  7. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Nearly. That's my dad your on about and oddly enough, he remembers you. He said you were hung like a mouse and you doing him up the ricker was like feeding a tic tac to a whale. And you cried afterwards.
     
  8. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Of course I cried! He once told me his favourite joke, something about what nine of ten people enjoy most, and I didn't get it. So he invited eight of his friends from the lapdancing club he worked at the time around to his cellar and explained it to me.

    Then I understood... :shock:
     
  9. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    It hurt didn't it? He was always pulling gags like that.
     
  10. It could always have been Thingy coming back from a night out, did he/she/it have a set by any chance. How big were her/he/it's top bollix?
     
  11. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I don't know this Thingy bloke but judging by his avatar, i would picture him as a Captain Haddock type. No, this creature was extremely convincing. Could you imagine playing mummys and daddys with it?

    "Daddy?"

    "Yes Mummy"

    "I'm feeling horny"

    "Are you?"

    "Yes. So come over here and suck mummys cock"
     
  12. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

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