Is it just me...

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by jockpopeye, Jun 11, 2010.

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  1. jockpopeye

    jockpopeye Badgeman Book Reviewer

    a few things have been troubling me of late.

    If you try to run a blockade enforced by the most agressive military in the world and then get shot, what were you expecting?

    Similarly it you have a preexisting heart condition and go for a stroll in a riot.

    Why is the Ginger one from Girlsaloud starngely attractive to me? It must be somethig to do with being a jock and drinking too much Irn Bru.

    Are Dolphins secretly evil and are just biding their time until there are enough disabled children in the water and then the massacre can begin.

    Why whenever I have a female boss I want to shag her, regardless of age or what she look like?

    Why do all the housmates in the new bigbrother seem to live with their parents, is this was moving out of home means for young 'uns now.

    When did James Corden become what passes for funny on TV, he is just a fat chav.

    Rant over, for the moment...
  2. Nope

    Why can't drivers of german cars use indicators?

    Why are the local police not interested in a car with no numberplates, no tax and blacked out windows thats recently been dumped in my road? Could it not be slightly dodgy and worth checking for drugs, bodies or recent criminal activity?

    Why do I have to pay high council tax when they refuse to come round once a year and clear up the leaves but insist on giving me a new type of recycling bin each year? I now have four bins to separate my rubbish into, and they expect me to clean my rubbish before putting it into the bins! I have enough trouple washing my plates and pans without adding rubbish!

    Why can't we do this to paedophiles and rapists here?
  3. Why use chemicals, why not just whip 'em off with rusty hacksaw?
  4. I would support the castration if the police and the CPS could do their jobs properly and weed out the fantasists crying rape or the women who get caught banging someone else and cry rape. Otherwise the risks of wrongful conviction are a tad too high for my liking.

    I agree also about James Corden, Chris Moyles and all the other fat chavs in the media, just because they are fat and annoying does not make them funny FFS.

    Back on topic

    Why do sauce bottles have smooth lids you can never get a proper grip on?

    If we are a first world nation, then why does the number of potholes increase every year?

    Why is the tax on airline tickets more than the ticket itself?
  5. Who the fuck invented this ridiculous piece of shite and why are messes the only place in the world to have them?

    "I know, I'll invent somehting completely unfit for purpose and impossible to use accurately, thereby fucking everyones scran up. I'll sell it to the MOD, they'll buy anything expensive that doesn't work."

  6. Why do I have to see this human garbage whenever I go shopping FFS:[/IMG
  7. Why the feck do i pay taxes? When i went to visit someone at hospital i actually put part of my foot through the floor, which to be fair to the nhs was fixed.... by putting duck tape over the fecking hole?!!!!!

    Why are there so many road works with nothing going on most of the time (day or night)

    Why are horses allowed to shit on the road and pavements and the owners dont have to clear it up
  8. I have read that as 'osses are vegetarian, their shite degrades very quickly, or is grabbed by gardeners. Does not stop it fcuking stinking though.
  9. Or cyclists like me having to pull out into the road to avoid it and getting beeped by cars and lorries.

    Why do car drivers abuse cyclists for riding to work? Petrol is so expensive, we are not all rich you know! Also that twat who shouted pay road tax, I already do and I can guarantee I pay more for my Vectra 2.2 than you in your 1.4 fiesta.
  10. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Am i the only person that God speaks to? It's great you know. Last week, he told me to go to Kings Cross and murder some whores and tonight, he's told me to to go out setting fire to random cars. I shall be rewarded with tinnitus, blurred vision and more voices. Champion.
  11. Bloody hell Mafia those pictures are the bees.
    Haven't laughed as much for a while.
    Top class
  12. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    You touched yourself didn't you mucker? :wink:
  13. No Blackrat,wish I had,reaching 70 makes touching the old nudger just the means of checking for leaks.
    I still can laugh at those squeezing into tight jeans.
  14. Blackrat

    Blackrat War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Mate, if your having trouble, Jonno has some interesting equipment that is guaranteed to get a reaction. Just don't let him show you how it works on you.

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