Ahoy there! As you will gather from my disgracefully sproggy post count, I am new here. That's not the worst of it though - not only did I used to be a pongo but I've also got a cracking set of man boobs from too many hob-nobs and not enough sit-ups. Apart from that, I have a serious fetish for emos, feet and guiness, once believed that there was such a disease as 'sticky cancer' and once got banned from a pub (in Chatham of all places) for being the worst karaoke singer ever. Oh - and my favourite animal is the herpes virus. I served with matelots in the Falklands in 1996 and found myself jealous of their sidies and then in Iraq, where I hung out with a couple of Jack Dusties for six months - one a virtual mute (albeit with a great arse) and the other a lesbian. I had no idea what they were talking about most of the time but consolled myself with the fact that I knew al the lyrics to 'Gosport Nancy' whilst they had never heard of it... Anyway, I'm bored on civvie strasse and am a right billy-no-mates (I basically sit at home and go on the piss with my gold fish). So I'm looking to join either the RN or the RFA before I become a serial killer or sex offender. For forms sake I'll insert a bone question here about whether you need to take an iron to Raleigh... It's nice to meet you all. I would never eat omlettes.