Inland Waterways Boatmaster Licence

Discussion in 'Sports and Adventure Training' started by Canaldrifter, Jan 22, 2007.

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  1. I am willing to offer free accomodation, free training, and loads of experience to nubile ex-naval wench seeklng Boatmaster Qualification (which would qualify you to steer trip boats on Inland Waterways) in exchange for share of victualling costs, booze, and sex would be nice, on narrowboat cruising the entire waterway system this coming season.

    Must like, and be willing to walk a soppy dog.

    (Well... you've gotta live in hope.... :mrgreen: )
  2. chieftiff

    chieftiff War Hero Moderator

    Did you say nubile young wretch? Not that nubile, was young once and definately a wretch!
  3. I'm not quite that desperate.... though close.....
  4. chieftiff

    chieftiff War Hero Moderator

    It's only a matter of time! :lol:
  5. Did I see this post a couple of days ago in the RR Lonely Hearts thread ??
  6. Canaldrifter. Please retain your status, as an ex FAA rating you are above advertising for a bit of crumpet.
    If you must, then sell yourself.
    New Advert

    Extremely experienced barge master with aviation experience has one or two vacancies aboard his vessel for paying guests. Members of the fairer sex particularly welcomed. During the period on board you will be offered several experiences, which will be charged for. Life on the boat is a little cramped and guests may find that they have to share a bunk with the captain.
    Ladies with big tits, kinky boots and nymphomaniac tendencies will be given first choice.
  7. The promise of a trip on this might do the trick, cd.

  8. I think CD may have a problem with that, as getting to the wheel would involve a trip either in the salty stuff or on the back of a lorry.

    Also you can get trips on it in return for a small ammount of cash which may be prefferable to all nighters with CD.
  9. Didn't get anywhere there though, did it? So thought I'd try my luck under 'sports and adventure training'.... :shock:
  10. The London Eye is better, but could possibly manage this:

  11. Clutching at straws now eh, CD? (or should that be reeds?) :grin:
  12. CD book a ticket to Bangkok, hotels are cheap. Ask our local Thailand expert for a few tips. If you fail to score there then book your place in the old folks home.
  13. I'm already IN a an old folks home...and Bangkok is too far to go by narrowboat..... or is it?
  14. Well it would take a bit of navigation, however once you get there Bangkok has got its own system of canals or Klongs as they are called. Extremely dirty, polluted and smelly in the centre of Bangkok but only a few miles out hey are clean and extremely attractive.
  15. A bit like Birmingham then???
  16. chieftiff

    chieftiff War Hero Moderator

    Any other takers yet? You know it's just a matter of time before you accept my offer. :lol:
  17. It would be an experience. :cool:
  18. chieftiff

    chieftiff War Hero Moderator

    And you could write a book, your most of the way there! Narrowboat, white beard, small dog............... just need a bird, then you could write a book just like this fellah:

    He sold 115,000 copies just going to France think what a trip to Bangkok could net you.
  19. Taking narrowboats across the channel is not that uncommon. I never could understand why his book was so popular. He took too many chances. Because most narrowboats are long enough to warrant all sorts of seagoing MCA regs, it isn't quite so easy now.... legally anyway.

    Some years ago a guy took a pair of boats to the Black Sea and back, mostly via inland waterways. He was sponsored by gardiner engines.

    Another boat went to the Scilly Isles a couple of years ago, and the same boat has cruised up the west coast from the Mersey estuary to the Caledonian Canal, and back, via Ireland and the Isle of Mann. One or two others have crossed the Irish Sea too.

    It's all a bit dodgy though. Narrowboats are flat bottomed and roll like b*ggery in a swell.

    Personally I wouldn't let my boat anywhere near salt water. It's corroding fast enough as it is!
  20. Sorry Slim.... nearly missed this. Next time I write an ad I'll consult with you first Not too fussy 'bout the last para though..... anything that breaths'll do.... except the Chief Tiff (yet).

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