I love animals, i really do. I'll always give a beagle one of my fags and lend a rabbit some of my misses' make up. However, they have been right cunts to me for no reason. Let me give you some examples: - I've been spat on by a camel and i stunk for days. - I've had my leg humped by a terrier and it jizzed on my trousers. - While carrying out a CTR one exercise, a couple of cows became curious and one shat all over me and my oppo. - A dead fucking bird landed slap bang on my lap on the same exercise when i was sitting under a tree having a smoke. I literally shat my pants in fright. - An owl took a dislike to me and kept dive bombing my head. Not very wise considering i was wearing kevlar. - I went to stroke my mates cat and the fucker hissed and scratched me. Now how does David Attenborough do it? The worse thing that has happened to him was nearly getting humped by a randy silverback. What it is with bloody animals? They've treated me like shit and i LIKE them. Anyone had anything similar happen to them for no reason?