Improvise, overcome and adapt

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by stan_the_man, Sep 17, 2012.

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  1. When I was a wee lad in Preston money was more often rather short because my old man prefered life in the pub rather than at home and the landlord took most of the family budget.
    We learned to shortcut many things, for fcuks sake can you believe we had a clock that we used to put money in!!! That got illegally entered quite often to put money into the slot at the back of the telly, talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul. Another cunning trick we discovered was that if you took the top off an Asprin bottle and beat the fecker flat with a hammer it slipped nicely into the electric meter - mum used to die with embarrament when the meter man came to empty it.
    Friday nights were fun when the milkman came round for his dosh and we were all hid behind the sofa.
    Funny enough I'm not embarrassed by it any more and I loved my old man despite his snags, he once took me fishing bless him and fell in the river pissed.
     
  2. By father drank and smoked to high heaven - and it got him in the end. In hindsight we should have been living quite comfortably but had to scrape by instead.

    So I've always looked at the most cost effective way of doing things. And if I can use things that are free then so much the better. That's why I fell into Opensource computer software - no money as a kid. Why pay for something when there are free alternatives? Simples. How do you spell "tschk"?
     
  3. Could you stop posting threads like this Stan, I used to be quite well off but since you started, I'm getting through Kleenex at an alarming rate.
    Fuckin tear stains all down my silk shirt, having to pay shit loads to have em professionally dry cleaned.
    We all sob the fuckin dog howls and the neighbours complain.
    We kick dog he throws up and hey presto carpet needs cleaning.
    It's getting out of hand, the butterfly effect is crippling me.
    I get depressed and drink more, the wife eats out to avoid me and all because you had a fuckin shit childhood.
    Fuckin get over it I'm having a shit old age because of you.
    Next I will have to shell out to put a hit on you and end it.
     
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  4. Ah rummers I don't mean no harm it's the good lords work making you jack bastards feel better about themselves!!! and fcuk me it no longer bothers me, do you have any sisters by the way?? I only have a white mans todger but I can breathe thru my ears!!
     
  5. Five camels three goats and six chickens and we can do trade.
     
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  6. I wouldn't have the camels or goats once you'd been near them :hump:
     
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  7. Easy on the camels one of them twatty things spat on me in the desert when I'd been hashing!! not smoking the shit running ya knob
     
  8. Ageing_Gracefully

    Ageing_Gracefully War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    You're making sure your sister is safe if he has to fuck that lot before getting near your sis!
     
  9. I was hoping the camels would be virgins I read a book once about breaking in horses and it kinda made an impression.
     
  10. You aint been asked.
    Anyway my one concern is as he lives by you, he don't slip you in as one of the fuckin goats.
     
  11. Goats fcuking love them but deh got fcukin evil eyes just like my first missus, now chickens is like the girl you went to school with you can't shag em cos in your mind they will always be 12 and you get locked up for that - but not in Kernow
     
  12. Yeah all that and if any fuckers are bald, shout anything that sounds remotely nautical, and smell stronger than goats usually do, fuck em over the noddle with a cricket bat, it'll be wrecker trying to get near me.
     
  13. Ah so you know my ex wife, can I have some of the enormous maintenance fees I paid the broom flying dried up fanny, droopy tit waving whore took from me!!! course I'm not bitter and the monger got my house aaaaaaaaaggggghhhh
     
  14. Don't suppose you could send the dog as well could you?
     
  15. You and most of Pompey had her I believe, still there are tablets and injections available to prevent the worst symptoms of Pompey fat slag syndrome.
     
  16. If he does, I'll be the good looking one with the sniper rifle...yoo 'as been warned!!
     
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  17. Stan couldn't send me five camels unless his neighbour helped him count them.:laughing5::smile:
     
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  18. I had this thing in my room as a children. Used it to store everything I possessed,did my homework on it and filled all the drawers and cupboards with comics and other assorted adolescent shite. Dad got it off the tip and it came in useful for as long as I was at school...before I bimbled out of the school gates for the last time and into Hull for a job shovelling fish out of trawlers....just before bimbling into a recruiting office......to bugger off around the world for a bit. Theres one exactly like the one I used to have in the Dingles front room on "Emmerdale".http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_6EzvmhURfxg/S9muliFWoZI/AAAAAAAAAkE/e5YO89K3pBQ/s1600/DSC01269.JPG
     
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2012
  19. Had one in my garage till a clearout, smashed it up and tipped it, saw one later in a 50s furniture shop £400
     

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