Not that any of you fuckers will notice, but i won't be posting for a couple of weeks. Why? I'm going to be gallivanting around the Salisbury plain area looking ally as fook and dispensing wisdom to sprogs. Anyway, the reason for the post. On Friday, we Officers have our summer mess do. Nothing unusual in that. However, it has been frequently talked of over the last few years because of a series of memorable events, usually started by yours truly. These include me (over the last few years): - Stealing the Adjutants golf clubs and asking the Colonel if we can play mess golf. He agreed, thinking i meant putting, and getting the shock of his life as i teed off in the bar with a 3 wood, smashing a port decanter, 3 bottles of beer and the Padres glasses. - Asking a visiting Colonel (Grenadier Guards) if it was still common practice for the other ranks to go cruising in Hyde Park - Being caught pissing in the QM's personal bottle of white wine - Telling the Vice that before he stands to propose the toast, he has to stand up and decalre loudly "The toasts will follow soon so listen in to my voice" There are many, many more. These are just a few that i can remember. Any other suggestions? I'm not going to get promoted for fucking ages so i've got nothing to lose.