IF

Discussion in 'Bases / Shore Est' started by writerken, Feb 25, 2007.

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  1. IF

    If you can keep your head when all about you
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
    If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
    But make allowance for their doubting too,
    If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
    Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
    Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
    And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
    If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
    If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
    If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
    And treat those two impostors just the same;
    If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
    Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
    And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

    If you can make one heap of all your winnings
    And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
    And lose, and start again at your beginnings
    And never breath a word about your loss;
    If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,
    And so hold on when there is nothing in you
    Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

    If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
    Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
    If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
    If all men count with you, but none too much,
    If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
    Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
    And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!


    --Rudyard Kipling
     
  2. If my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle!! :evil:
     
  3. If you can keep your wealth when all about you
    Are losing theirs from paying income tax;
    If you can make quite sure that no one doubts you
    By selling to the networks your own “factsâ€;

    If you can reap the harvest that is waiting
    For those who fight both sides of one same war;
    If you spend hours televised, debating
    For bussing and for “welfare†for the “poorâ€;

    If you can trade with Reds, and all the while
    Be charging what they owe to our own banks;
    If you can have us lose a war, then smile,
    Because you know you’re only getting thanks;

    If you can hold an office, but each minute
    Be out afloat, and calmly goin’ fishin’,
    The United Kingdom is yours, and all that’s in it,
    Because, my son, you’ll be a politician.
     
  4. good one ling...
     
  5. Nice one Lingy. Have you confessed on RR to being in the Blair Resignation Honours List... Lord Lingy of Ban Cock? :wink: :lol: :lol: :lol:
     


  6. If you can keep your Chef's hat when all about you
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
    If you can trust yourself with recipies when all men doubt you
    But make allowance for their doubting too,
    If you can cook and not be tired of cooking,
    Or being pissed off, don't piss others off,
    Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
    And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
    If you can drink--and not make drinking your master,
    If you can eat--and not make eating your aim;
    If you can meet with The Matelot and Seadog
    And treat those two Moderators just the same;
    If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
    Twisted by TV comics to make a laugh for audiences,
    Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
    And stoop and pick 'em up from the kitchen floor:

    If you can make one heap of all your cakes
    And risk them all on one turn of the oven temperture knob,
    Burn them to charcoal, and start again at your beginnings
    And never breath a word about your loss;
    If you can force your butter and eggs and flour
    To combine and turn long after you are gone,
    And so hold on when there is no scran left
    Except the exceedingly good cakes you just created.

    If you can talk with matelots and keep your virtue,
    Or walk with Jossmen--nor lose the humane touch,
    If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
    If all men count with you, but none too much,
    If you can fill the unforgiving minute
    With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
    Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
    And--which is more--you'll be a Naval Chef, my son!


    Apologies to Kipling and his exceedingly good cakes! (Especially the chocolate ones).
     
  7. A tasty morsel. Great stuff.
     
  8. I can see from your signature why your birth certificate middle name and real middle name might have differed somewhat. Did you really not realise your parents nicknamed you Smudge and it wasn't you real name? :eek: :wink:

    Have you seen this piccy yet in the coppermine...
    http://www.rumration.co.uk/cpgn2/coppermine/displayimage/album=5/pos=139.html
     
  9. I say we should laugh every day. That sure made me laugh this morning. Lovely.
     

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