If you were invisible...


War Hero
No. 10, where I could cross out 'scrap Ark Royal and Harriers' on the PM's job list and write, 'buy extra ships, Harriers and CSB and scrap the Crabs'.

Assuming I've got an invisibility cloak or somesuch, I'd like to get in a bank vault and make away with a load of dosh and diamonds etc. If it was only me that was invisible, the piles of loot would look a bit suss floating across the floor towards my waiting motor.

Having sorted out the UK's defence problems and now minted for life, I would then have to make my way to the bedroom of a sleeping Agelina Jolie, where I would have to stop myself giggling when she receives an invisible faceshot and wakes up wondering why her mouth tastes funny and her hair is matted :D


War Hero
Book Reviewer
I've always wanted to shove a chilli up a Lions anus just to see what happens.


I'd sit in the woods and see if a tree falling with no one around really did make no sound.

Then I'd go and rape some women.


War Hero
I wouldn't change the World or interfere with any females, I wouldn't even steal anything.

Just the pleasure of being able to ride a motorcycle stark bollock naked in public would be enough for me.


War Hero
I'd rent meself out as a "Stunt-poltergeist" for the film *Paranormal Sexual Activity III*.

Can you imagine that? Massive jets of jollop squirting out of nowehere
onto some nubile B-movie actress as the local vicar does his best to
perform an exorcism?

A box office smash if ever there was one.
Sit naked on the pan in the female heads, with a mate outside with a camera to record the expression on the faces of the ladies as they 'sprung' from the trap, undies at half mast. :twisted:


War Hero
I'd tiptoe around TV studios and tap on the shoulders of newsreaders just as they're announcing something of earth-shattering importance, like who's just been voted off "Strictly Come X Factor".
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