If men wrote advice columns

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by brazenhussy, Jun 21, 2007.

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  1. Q. My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.

    A. Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for 2nd best -your best mate. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college mates involved to. If you are still apprehensive, maybe just let him be with your mates without you. If your still not sure just perform oral sex on him, and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

    Q. My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

    A. That is of no concern to your husband. If you mess with it, do it in your own time, or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to video yourself doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday present! To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal!

    Q. My husband in uninterested in foreplay

    A. You are a bad person for bringing this up- foreplay to a man is stressful and time consuming! Sex should be readily available on demand with no requests for foreplay. He should not have to work to get you in the mood - stop being so selfish"" Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex, and cooking a nice meal!

    Q. My husband always orgasms then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.

    A. I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.

    :thumright: :thumright:
  2. [​IMG][​IMG] nice one mate!
    Especially the question about.... oh feck it, all of 'em!! :D

  3. approval from you -- :w00t: :w00t:
  4. Oh feck off!
    No need for that at all was there.
    Its the pratts like that foreign bird that can't spell or indeed compose a sentence that I can't abide by, especially when she's offering her weird "advice"! So don't YOU get on my back too.
  5. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    Good one BH, I've just been e-mailed a quite funny "woman" thing, I've tried to post it but being a 'puter biff I cant, PM me and I'll e-mail it to you.
  6. Mate - i didnt mean it like that - it was meant in jest - you used to moan about my posts - so i was chuffed you found this amusing --- no offence was meant at all - would withdraw post if i could.
  7. No, its ME who should be apologising, not you.
    I took it the wrong way and feel like a cnut for doing so.
    (you've still got lovely eyes, can I lick one ?) :D
  8. Lamri should get his/her bottom smacked for flashing up!

  9. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    Back peddling? :thumright:
  10. And here's some more "advice"......

    Q. My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

    A. Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. His offer to allow you perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day: then cook him a nice meal.

    Q. My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

    A. This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.
  11. Nothing wrong with saying sorry when its due WB :)
  12. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    agreed lamri....I say it all the time :oops:
  13. Soft cock.
  14. OHHH Sorry
  15. no no , i'm sorry!
  16. Pardon, sorry, no it was my fault, heres some flowers. Doghouse Roses :rose: .
  17. In which case I apologise for saying sorry in my last (previous) post about being sorry.

    Once again, Sorry. :(
  18. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    Sorry bunch of twats :pukel: :toilet: :pukel:
  19. I'm sorry?
  20. Surely if men wrote advice columns there would be less writing and more pictures? Deidre’s case book for example....

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