Lantern Swinger
An English expat is hanging out in his favourite bar in Phuket, thinking about his wretched life, when he spots a fabulous babe walking in on the arm of some ugly tourist. He asks the bartender about her and is not surprised to discover that she’s a prostitute.

He watches her for the rest of the night, thinking he has to get a piece of the action, but being English he’s a bit bashful, does nothing and thus goes home frustrated.

The next night he goes back to the same bar, and sure enough she shows up again, only this time alone.

The guy gets up his nerve and approaches her.
"Is it true you’re a prostitute?" "Why, sure, big boy. What can I do for you?"
"Well, I dunno. What do you charge?" "I get US$100 just for a hand job. We can negotiate from there." "US$100!?! For a handjob? Are you nuts?!!"

"You see that Ferrari out there?" The guy looks out the front door, and sure enough there’s a shiny new Ferrari parked outside.

"I paid cash for that Ferrari with the money I made on hand jobs. Trust me, it’s worth it."

The guy mulls it over for a while, and decides what the hell. He leaves with her, and gets the most unbelievable experience he’s ever had. This hand job
was better than any complete sexual experience in his miserable life.

The next night he’s back at the bar, waiting eagerly for her to show up. When she does, he immediately approaches her. "Last night was incredible!"

"Of course it was. Just wait till you try one of my blow jobs."

"How much is that?" "US$500"

"US$500!?! C’mon, that’s ridiculous!"

"You see that apartment building across the street?"

The guy looks out front at a 6 storey apartment building.

"I paid cash for that building with the money I made on blow jobs. Trust me, it’s worth it."

Based on the night before, the guy decides to go for it. He leaves with her, and once again is not disappointed. He faints. Eight times.

The next night he can hardly contain himself until she shows up.

"I’m hooked, you’re the best! Tell me, what’ll it cost me for some pussy?"

She motions for him to follow her outside. She points down the street.
"You see that 150 storey skyscraper over there..."

"Aw, c’mon! You can’t be serious!"

She nods her head. "You bet. If I had a pussy, I’d own it."
:roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: