Idiot Knobber

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by Topstop, Jun 29, 2010.

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  1. we had a patient once who had a knob amputation because he'd put a barbell clip on it ha ha ha
  2. In the years I served as ambulance crew and Paramedic, I have attended at least 16/17 cock in a foreign object shouts, and I don't mean Au pair girls.
    The favorite seemed to be milk bottles, and we used to have bets as to whether it was sterilized or Pasteurized.
    Another firm favorite seemed to be wedding rings. We carried a model railway track cutting tool for those. And a hammer. 8O :D
  3. Knowing that chaps have caught their cocks in wedding rings makes me a lot happier with my allocation of girth.
  4. we had a guy who had a burn ring right round the end of his bell end. we asked him what he'd done. he then broke into laughter as he told us he hates his bitch of a boss's guts and thought he'd get her back by dipping his knob in her tea :twisted: . on paper it sounds good i guess :roll:
  5. Was on a course with a paramedic once, told us about this guy used to pleasure himself with his hoover. so one day has the bright idea of taking the tubes off and going at it with machine itself, not realising there was a set of rotating blades in there to break up any heavy debris on the way in.Ouch. needle and cat gut anyone? :knob:
  6. Worked with a Steward once,took to pleasuring himself with a Hoover,ended up getting Medivacced but have heard since ,He's picking up canny.
  7. Ah but you should have seen the size of his fingers :D
    When I was in the Fire Service we had a couple in milk bottles , we used to call RR and his mates :D And we had a proper "ring cutter"which always made me chuckle when doing the inventory.
  8. In our medical bag at the moment, we have the unfortunatley named ringcutter, and in the next pouch KY jelly!!whats all that about? :D
  9. ah dust buster syndrome seen severval of those over the years and other penile and anal injuries. :D
  10. I'm not sure if it was in a film or something, but I seem to think I saw this event before it actually happened to our crew one night.
    We had a call to a house in Sutton Coldfield, when we arrived it was a real mansion. A woman of about thirty greeted us at the door and ushered me and a colleague up to a bedroom.
    The sight that greeted us was a naked woman spread eagle on the bed with an implement inserted into her baby chute.
    I examined her, to find she sported a length of barbed wire, which had been inserted by her husband after finding her with her boyfriend in their bed.
    We removed it the same way as he had inserted it, by encasing it in a lubed up tube over the top and pulling out once covered.
    It has to my knowledge from other blokes in the service(Ambulance) been done before and since.
    So ladies be discreet, very discreet.
  11. Surely you've heard the expression"shaddup you cnut or I'll tear you a new arse ole" Well the said equipment is for the same procedure only neater :D

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