I would like to apologize

Discussion in 'Joining Up - Royal Navy Recruiting' started by ProudNavyWife(tooBe), Mar 14, 2008.

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  1. I had a long think while driving back to Helensburgh after visiting family (it was a 12hr drive)

    Firstly I would like to say sorry, I have been acting like mong, the thread bashing I have recently recieved has opened up my eyes to the fact that I have been unable to left go of my dream of joining the Armed Forces which I should of done the day my hubs passed out and I sat there proudly with our 4 week old daughter.

    I feel rather supid having taken this long to except that I already have a job, as a wife and a mother, and I should be satisfied with that, and no longer see members of the Armed forces with such green eyes.

    It wouldnt just be getting a first draft up to Fas, it would be every 3 years or so when I would be getting a draft that I would be worried which I had not thought about I was only thinking of the 1st posting here maybe I didnt want to think about it. I dont want my husbands career to suffer either, as it almost certainly would.

    I never wanted to do it to be close to my hubbie or to wear a shinny uniform I wanted to do it because it was my dream, but now know thats all it will be.

    The ironay is I had lost 2 stone and was down to 2.5KM in 16mins when I started dating my husband 5 years ago to join the Army but dating = too much drinking and pizza....enough said! But thats my fault I didnt make the lifestyle changes fast or soon enough and my husband beat me too it!

    Still going for the fitness target, Navy or not I want to be able to run the 2.5KM under the required time and be healthy in life.

    Perhaps I will look into (when fit NOT before) the RNR or TA,

    Look on the bright side, I get to iron his Navy uniform and do his boots! LOL

    But I do want to apologize and thanks for the posts positive or not they have helped me to decided that

    husband in Navy + wife in Navy + children = nightmare for all concerned

    and its time to let go, Sorry for being a prat
  2. good luck to you mate,
    me and my wife both serve (although she's RAF) and with kids, I have to say it's not easy, but that's our choice.
  3. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Why the feck are you cleaning your hubby's uniform and boots?! 8O
  4. There's always room for a baby submariner ;) :biggrin:
  5. Well.. in the end all that matters is that YOU are happy and if thats so then your family and friends will be happy for you too.

    Yes some dreams stay as dreams BUT some just get put on hold till a better time, thats the only real difference

    Do keep up all your hard work of getting fit ,so when your little one wants to run riot you will be able to keep up and join in to.

    I dont remember you being a prat, we all have our dreams and desires and no one has the right to take them away.

  6. He doesnt ask I offer, I do the washing and ironing while he is at work all day, its only fair, although when he had a kit muster duing SMQ and I offered to iron it ALL including his single sheet I regreated it, I mean ironing a single sheet on a wee ironing board! nightmare

    I quite enjoy doing boots and making them like a mirror (oh my god how sad does that sound)
  7. No-one ever said you were a prat-------- so stop it!

    Everyone has dreams- some come true- some dont................... it is well known on here i served whilst married with kids- its not easy- and in the end something has to give................. to start married with kids- well very admirable.

    Keep the dream------------ like you said the RNR may help you on the way xxxxxxxxx
  8. They gave me a kit muster once,I asked if they wanted me standing up or lying down.

    Theres nothing wrong with being in the reserves,for they also serve just the same.
  9. You may apologise at any time but never explain or justify your actions?
    Wasn't it Charles the 1st that said something along these lines, and we all know what happened to him :wink:
  10. You have nothing to apologise for, just your dreams have had to take a bit of a reality check, as can hapen for a number of reasons. I wrote in a post on the other thread to keep part of that dream alive by continuing with your laudable efforts to lose weight and get fit.then go for the RNR, it may not be exactly what you really wanted deep down, but it may go some way toward you feeling a bit more fulfilled career wise. Keep going and the best of luck!
  11. Hun, there is nothing wrong with the RNR. The uniform, the glamour, the bounty, the escape from reality from time to time. Actually it is better, for lots of reasons too numerous to list here.

    I only ever wanted to serve full time but I couldn't and the RNR was never a substitute for those dreams.
  12. It's a shame your husband beat you to what was always your dream and you shouldn't have to be 'content' with your lot. Sadly though, it's hard to have both a forces career and family. One will eventually have to be put to the wayside and I know you'd never let that be your child. When you're away you'd constantly be worrying about your little one and you might not have such a good time as you'd like.
    I think the reserves sound like a great idea. It's still hard work but that way you can have the best of both worlds and do all the best bits of forces life without the gash bits.
    Keep at it though, maybe if your other half has had enough of the RN in later years and you're still up for it you could give it another go.
  13. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    Don't think for one minute that our aspirations have passed you by.

    I'm guessing you're in your early 20's.

    You simply need to commence phase on training before your 37th birthday.

    There's been quite a few Mums (& Dads) who have joined, having had kids earlier in their life and who were now fully independent and free to do so. All of them claimed it was their life's ambition.

    The major consideration is finance- can you afford to start on a ratings wage (@ £12,600) when you're older? If you were to join before 32 with an Engineering degree, you would start on £28,000 at today's rates. It's worth thinking long-term. Odds are the age limits will be reviewed again in the next decade anyway. Maybe they will increase the age on entry for Officers- who knows?
  14. Can I bring my shoes around then?

  15. flaming hell all the blimpish 'has beens' will be getting hard reading this. Sure if you want to be a wife and mother go for it - if you want to do what a lot of women do nowadays and juggle the wife mother work thing then that's fine too. Very few families are able to afford to live on one wage.

    Lots of people on here are fond of telling other people what to do and they have an antediluvian view of the role of women which keeps them all cosy in bed at night. Life is short sweetie ... My advice ... fcuk 'em - do what you want ... full stop.

  16. Goldie, I'm not sure anyone intended to tell NW what to do, maybe they were just concerned for the little one. I do agree that your happiness is extremely important, but I also wonder how anyone with children can cope with being away. One guy on here absolutely pines for his kids, he always looks so sick and sad at sea. It's hard to think about how you might feel and how you might cope when your thoughts are all about a wonderful passing out parade, seeing the sights abroad, hearing people's dits. I know I didn't stop to think about how I might feel and I don't have kids, that must be heartbreaking. But! Everyone is different, perhaps NW is sick to death of staying at home, baby talk and nappies. Only she knows what she really thinks she must do. I just hope that, if she needed opinions, she may have found some of use and comfort.
    I think, like others do, that the reserves is the perfect compromise, but maybe NW feels this is only second best. If she enjoys it then she may feel as though she absolutely must join the RN and be quite happy in that decision. On the other hand, like Ninja mentioned, I was with one woman at Raleigh (she was in the Navy News for it) who joined up again after leaving as a trainee 18 years ago when she discovered she was pregnant. She has the added bonus of probably not needing to find another job before she retires because if she does her full contract she'll be near the current retirement age. She'll have life experience and will be happy knowing she's had all she wanted.
    There are options for NW, of which yours is a valid one! I think most people just wanted to show that and I think some people may be a bit shocked that she wouldn't want to stay with her daughter, which in itself is a hard and worthwhile job, personally I wouldn't look down on a parent for wanting to stay with a child, neither would I blame them for needing to work whether for financial reasons or happiness.
    This might read a bit horribly, didn't mean it to, Goldie! I don't know why it's directed at you and not NW... forgive me, I'm tired :)
    NW, hope you find an answer within yourself that you'll be happy with! Ninja's the one to ask about your options.


    Edited for shocking grammar. I said I was tired!
  17. Hey dont put yourself down!!
    There is nothing wrong with having a dream, if you live it then maybe it wont be that great who knows?
    Anyway whatever you do, it will be for you and your family and Im sure that your OH, like mine, has relief in knowing that while he is away things at home are fine n dandy :)
  18. Thanks Guys, I dont think anyone was telling me what to do though, I asked for peoples opinions on if/how it would be possible with my hubbie on bombers and espically early on in his career.

    Everyone will have different views and I respect that, I think putting it on hold for now is wise we do want more babies after all and trying not to plan everything!

    I had read about the 36yr old in the Navy news, being that I am 25 this year I think I could follow in her foot steps so to speak.

    As for living on one wage is pretty though and should be starting a night reception job soonoh and I can take wee one so its pretty prefect for now and will do for some extra cash.

    I will look into the RNR when fit, first goal is the race for life on 8th June,

    Thanks Again
  19. Proud Navy Wife dont get down
    The mid patrol blues have come around
    Get out his suit and iron the collar
    That'll remind you of your darling fella
    The RNR, try that for size
    Even though its a compremise
    Dont fret, cos soon hes back in port
    Your always there, with your support

    Keep your chin up, the Navy needs you as much as your hubby. We wouldnt want to lose either, because that means we lose both!

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