I will be split from my partner and 2 year old for 5-8 months

#21
Not sure where you are going that comms are so bad skype doesnt work (needs about 90kbps to work). Lots of the chat apps like WhatsApp and Kik were invented to work in Africa China or India. You can send still photos and text chat via those. If you are so far up country there is no mobile phone network or power, then the sat phone will have to do. See if you can send emails via whatever device you end up with. Antarctic Survey??

As for the separation aspect, yes, this is the place to ask, and the answers haven't changed much since Granny's day. The coping strategies have, flights are cheaper, phones and tablet computers are also, but you will still have the butterflies and separation anxiety when it comes time to drive away. As long as you realise you are both working towards the goal of financial reward and are agreed upon it. Don't be afraid to seek counselling before you go to bring up any concerns she might have and doesn't feel comfortable raising them alone.
 
#22
Always remember that nothing is new. I had been married for 2 weeks when I went off to the FES for 18 months. It wasn't great but together we were strong and secure. I left knowing that nothing, that really mattered, would change for us. My wife worked, while I played, and the time went quickly. When I got home we had saved enough for the deposit on a house. My family came later, even with me still away at sea. It's the life we had, so we lived it.
All we had were letters.... way before all this new-fangled 'stuff' you have today. The getting back home and together was good!
Those were the days eh Granny? Similar situation for me too
 

(granny)

RIP
Book Reviewer
#23
One thing I will add, when you get back from a deployment, your partner will have a well established routine. You will have to adapt to their way, not the other way round, you are, in effect, an interloper in their lives.
You hit the nail smack bang on the head. It gets worse the day you retire for good. It takes years for them to accept that you are under their feet all day every day. lol
 
#24
Thanks for all the info, I think my greatest worry is my son being used to me and then me..... well..... being gone.

I will be working in the middle of spain, others I have spoke with have said that the local town has a bit of wifi, the local libary is where there are some computers or a couple of bars and parks have wifi but the wifi is supposedly really bad and most don't even try to skype, I can call a couple of time per week but him not seeing me will be hard.
 

exJenny

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#26
Thanks for all the info, I think my greatest worry is my son being used to me and then me..... well..... being gone.
This is just my experience....

Kids adapt far more easily than adults in situations like these. My 2 young kids miss me, so I'm told, but they carry on with life as normal. They and their dad get organised from the minute I'm gone, while I'm bawling my eyes out on a train.

It will be great for you to get home after so long away but your partner will have got into a routine that may take a little while for her to revert back from, so you may feel like you're in the way or doing things wrong. It'll all settle down.
 
#28
This is just my experience....

Kids adapt far more easily than adults in situations like these. My 2 young kids miss me, so I'm told, but they carry on with life as normal. They and their dad get organised from the minute I'm gone, while I'm bawling my eyes out on a train.

It will be great for you to get home after so long away but your partner will have got into a routine that may take a little while for her to revert back from, so you may feel like you're in the way or doing things wrong. It'll all settle down.
I hope that is the case, but just the thought of my 2 year old waking up shouting daddy and me not being there will be the killer.
 

exJenny

War Hero
Moderator
Book Reviewer
#29
I hope that is the case, but just the thought of my 2 year old waking up shouting daddy and me not being there will be the killer.
You've got to stop thinking like that. I hope for your sake that this is just a one off in your career. You will be missed, but a 2 yr old will soon find something to occupy their mind. Your child will cope, accept that and so will you!
 
#30
You've got to stop thinking like that. I hope for your sake that this is just a one off in your career. You will be missed, but a 2 yr old will soon find something to occupy their mind. Your child will cope, accept that and so will you!
Thanks, I know your right but still human nature I guess!
 
#34
Thanks for all the info, I think my greatest worry is my son being used to me and then me..... well..... being gone.

I will be working in the middle of spain, others I have spoke with have said that the local town has a bit of wifi, the local libary is where there are some computers or a couple of bars and parks have wifi but the wifi is supposedly really bad and most don't even try to skype, I can call a couple of time per week but him not seeing me will be hard.
Ummm - I'm very confused now. You DO mean the Spain that is only an hour away from the UK? Not the Antarctic? And as I live in Spain, the middle is where Madrid is, which has airports and planes and everything. Could you not get home or they come to visit you?

I do agree about Spanish interweb - it is generally appalling BUT it is possible to buy or rent satellite systems. Also there is very good 4G coverage - get an unblocked mobile from your local friendly Indian sub continent shop in the UK then buy a Spanish SIM card when you get here.

Are you truly saying that you are not 'allowed' / will not be able to get back to the UK for 5 months?

The money must be ace........... are they recruiting?
 

Trainer

War Hero
Book Reviewer
#35
Leighton Buzzard is almost within walking distance of Luton airport. Ryanair fly directly into Madrid..... I've known people commute further. not being funny but you'd be more remote in North Scotland.
 
#36
Its hard as I am bound by confidentiallity, but it is a possible big development in a place about 3 hours from Murcia in land, I will be working 16 hour days the whole time so flying back will be a no no and having vistors COULD work but is hard as you pretty much have an hour lunchish and they will have to drive to you.

Yes the money is beyond good and something i could never earn in the UK (I actually got the gig from a friend)

If I was offererd say double what I could earn in the UK, i would happily say no.

In short we currently rent but Leighton Buzzard has become a London Overspill and a basic 3 bed costs 300k plus so out of reach of our wage.

This is why I am doing it to give us a better future, If I was single I would not care of cours ebut leaving loved ones behind will struggle especially as some days will drag.
 

Jacobus

Lantern Swinger
#37
Well matey. Crack on then. You have an end plan, raise a deposit, you're doing the very best for your dependants and no one can ask better than that. And you're not being posted on back to back Falklands'/ NI or Afghan turnarounds.
 
#38
My eldest was 2 and my wife 5 months pregnant when I deployed for 9 months - before mobile phones or email.
I flew back for the birth but had to rejoin the ship when my youngest was only 7 days old and was away for a further 4 months.
I used to send pictures and stuff via the post to my eldest and my wife used to send me his scribblings (think his writing has gone down hill from then!).
The hardest person it hit was my wife - she had a toddler and a baby to look after whilst I was engrossed in my work (well, West Indies guardship and trials in California were very taxing!).
Your son is only 2, it becomes more difficult for them when at school and the other kids have a dad to pick them up. I turned down extended service and left when my lads were 8 and 6 because of that very reason.
Can't have affected them too much - the youngest is now in the Navy and looking forward to a 9 month trip away next year.

Do your best for your kids and to be honest, they wont remember being 2 years old and daddy being away.
 
#39
My eldest was 2 and my wife 5 months pregnant when I deployed for 9 months - before mobile phones or email.
I flew back for the birth but had to rejoin the ship when my youngest was only 7 days old and was away for a further 4 months.
I used to send pictures and stuff via the post to my eldest and my wife used to send me his scribblings (think his writing has gone down hill from then!).
The hardest person it hit was my wife - she had a toddler and a baby to look after whilst I was engrossed in my work (well, West Indies guardship and trials in California were very taxing!).
Your son is only 2, it becomes more difficult for them when at school and the other kids have a dad to pick them up. I turned down extended service and left when my lads were 8 and 6 because of that very reason.
Can't have affected them too much - the youngest is now in the Navy and looking forward to a 9 month trip away next year.

Do your best for your kids and to be honest, they wont remember being 2 years old and daddy being away.
Thanks for that, I was actually in hospital a lot as a child and I cannot remember any of it, no idea if it effected me in other ways though.
 
#40
I do agree about Spanish interweb - it is generally appalling BUT it is possible to buy or rent satellite systems. Also there is very good 4G coverage - get an unblocked mobile from your local friendly Indian sub continent shop in the UK then buy a Spanish SIM card when you get here.
I agree with SB, there are numerous burner phone or pay as you go options that will work on the Spanish networks. When you can get WiFi or 4G you can use one of the free messenger programs to video chat (KIK, WhatsApp, etc).
https://www.reinisfischer.com/planing-trip-spain-how-get-prepaid-sim-card-spain
https://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowTop...5-Buying_prepaid_phones_in_madrid-Madrid.html
If you really are minted a few euros a day on data/voice will be nothing. And you never know, although you think you wont have time for them to visit, once you get on site and get the lay of the land and get the dish from the other contractors/employees etc, you might find it is possible for them to visit. At least you are going somewhere with flights and acommodation. I would make sure she gets her passport in order and also get the sprog sorted, just in case a weekend off happens to drop lucky for you.
 
Thread starter Similar threads Forum Replies Date
Ballistic Diamond Lil's 8
A Diamond Lil's 39
trelawney126 Diamond Lil's 6

Similar threads


Top