I think I've caught the gay again.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by 2_deck_dash, Sep 22, 2010.

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  1. Anyone heard that new Scissor Sisters tune 'Any which way you get'?

    It's banging.

    Combined with my unhealthy likeness for Take That in their reformed guise and the fact that I own 3 pink shirts, I'm starting to worry, I've even started considering purchasing a motorcycle for fcuks sake and we all know that's the final step before growing a tash.

    I haven't got to the stage where I want a cock up my hoop yet, but I'd rather nip this in the bud before it gets that far.

    Any tips how I can get my life back on track?
  2. Go slam your parts in the door whenever you get a gay urge. The pain pleasure cycle will put you off. Never did me any harm. :p
  3. Do you have an overwhelming desire to listen to Bronski Beat?

    Did you shed a tear when George Michael got sent down?

    Do you feel empathy with male stewards and airline cabin crew?

    If yes to any of the above, unlucky. Your in denial and you ARE a shirtlifter.
  4. I live just round the corner from the Snappy Snaps shop that George Michael destroyed in his car.

    A comedy graffiti genius struck literally minutes after the event, unfortunately Camden Council has now painted over it, but it was funny while it lasted:

  6. 2DD, I'd say anyone who has a gaydar so prominently displayed to 'warn' of sneaky backdoor gardeners is protesting too much.
    You're almost certainly 95% Rainbow Coalition. :twisted:
    Still look on the bright side, when you find your pillow biting partner for life you'll be DINKs for life! :wink:
  7. I'm actually beginning to see the bright side of this situation, I mean no nagging birds to worry about, I can watch Top Gear and football on TV all day because all blokes love that, I can finally get those cowboy boots I've always wanted and it now opens up a huge variety of alcoholic beverages that were previous off limits, like rose and peach schnaaps.

    This could actually work.
  8. That's all well and good 2DD but have you considered the down side?
    You'll have to start dressing like one of the Village People, watching Dirty Dancing and having your hoop stretched by some hairy, butch fellas cock. It's just not worth it!
  9. Fair point actually, I don't think I could ever bring myself to watch Dirty Dancing.
  10. Admit it mate anyone who struts around wearing the HAC gubbins is almost certainly beef!! :wink:

    So in the words of our Jamaican brethren. BATTY BOI!!! :D
  11. XRD does have a valid point

  12. Didn't I meet you on holiday in Egypt. In the middle of that big river De Nile :wink:
  13. So you went from nautical gay to out-of-the-closet, look-at-me,chase me chase me, rampant village people totally OTT gay uniforms, :wink:
  14. I don't get to wear that cool shit anyway. That's for the oldskool gays, the ones who are into 'theatre' and stuff.

    You know, the ones who's Telegraph obituaries read like this:

    ''Colonel Seamus 'Rusty' Fcuknuckle MBE was a dedicated follower of the theatre and a lover of the arts. A confirmed bachelor, Rusty leaves behind a daughter from a previous marriage and will be sorely missed by his lifelong companion and close friend David Snodgrass-Clam. In lieu of flowers, mourners are kindly requested to make donations to the Terrence Higgins Trust.''
  15. janner

    janner War Hero Book Reviewer

    This can be taken as a genuine outing of 2DD
  16. .....and having to wear baggy pants to hide the chokky starfish plug, seepage can be embarrasing, ask Joanna Lumley.
  17. Joanna Lumley, now there's an old bird I would love to smash.........wait........does this mean I'm hetero again?

  18. Nope, she's probably a gay icon and you are having mummy issues again. You're still a bender.

    And don't even think about Liza Minnelli you dirty homo.
  19. Hang on fella weren't you a wearer of pussers rig once upon a time?? If so I would standby on that one if I was you. :wink:

    As for pith helmets. I never wore one as rubbers weren't issued with them back in the day to be fair!!! however.........on a Thursday!! 8O 8)

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