I should be so lucky.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by BillyNoMates, Sep 13, 2010.

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  1. Any RR members ever had any? Say for instance you're wandering down the street and come across a wallet topped up with twenties and an assortment of Credit Cards with all the pin numbers stuck to them on *Post-its*. Or perhaps you've been walking the dog in the woods, and the inquisitive canine has dug up the proceeds of a bank robbery. Maybe the one time you used that metal detector - you unearthed a horde of ancient Roman Coins or bought a nice picture from a charity shop, and discovered it was painted by Van Gogh. I once found a fiver on a golf course when I was a kid, but that's about all...never had that certain type of "luck" that some folk have. So over to you. Are you one of those people that falls into a bucket of shit and comes out smelling of Brut 33 then?
     
  2. Yeah I found £1 down the back of the sofa the other day.
     
  3. I found 300 dollers in a blank envelope in the street once. Changed it at the post office and got around 500 quid.

    Edited to say: It happened just before christmas when I was skint too.
     
  4. Found 20quid on a night out in Lppol once. Timely too as id ran out of cash and was figuring how to get home AND get a massive Kebab :)
     
  5. Merlin28. If those were Yankee dorra, that's one hell of an exchange rate.
     
  6. Few years ago used to go detecting on Blackpool beach. Usual take was £10 per day. Once found a box all locked sneaked it away home hammered away. Suprise .....Lots of sand...
     
  7. It was about 7 years ago I can't remember exactly how much I got back.
     
  8. Fair point. I suspect that you found 500 yankee dorra and got 300 quid.

    I've septic money a bought 11 years ago and it's still current. Why does it look like it's fallen out of a Monopoly set?
     
  9. Yes I suspect your correct thinking about it.
     
  10. Drive a hackney Cab on occasion so i'm always finding stuff behind the back seat. So far -

    -1 I-phone (reclaimed by passenger)
    -16 tins of Tennents Lager (Never reclaimed and drank by me)
    -7 wraps of Cocaine (Defo never reclamed because I threw it all down the pan)
    - A wee bag of skunk Canabis - mixed it with my dad's tickler - just for laughs (it was)
    -On several occasions, Money totalling so far over £700 (cash only - no wallets)
    - Several wallets/purses etc handed in to police - rewarded for 3 of them
     
  11. I had a bit of a Brucey bonus while on a run ashore in Tokyo.

    The Jap currency is a bit difficult to get your head around especially if you are a maths mong like me. I think the exchange rate was 14billion yen to the pound or something like that, anyway it was a fcuk load of zeros.

    So in my drunken state I went to the cash machine or ATM, as most foreigners call them, and withdraw what I thought was about 100 quid. As I tried to stuff the rather large wad of cash into my wallet I realised that perhaps I had slightly more than 100 quids worth and decided to count my winnings. As reality slowly dawned and I sobered up a little I realised that I had actually withdrawn just under a grand. This was not good, I had various payments to go out of my account and a few pending cheques which would all bounce. Here I was stuck in a foreign land, pissed up, with no way of depositing the cash back into my account.

    Anyway I made the most of it, banged an Aussie stripper, spent 50 quid on sushi and puked up in a lift after drinking Absinth. I returned to the ship depositing the remaining cash into my locker. The rest of the month was pretty terrifying, waiting for threatening letters from the bank and visits to the ship's office to explain why my cheques were made of rubber, but they never came.

    That was in 2004 and the withdrawal has still never showed up on my account. Still can't quite get my head around it but it was awesome!
     
  12. Brucey bonus number 2.

    I've posted this before somewhere but It's relevant so I'll post it here too.

    St Lucia 2002.

    As the mess sprog I was 'volunteered' to do the big eats run to KFC which was just outside the dockyard. As any sprog knows, this is a fcuking nightmare, trying to manage 30 odd people's orders and get the change right just never works, added to this, the fact that most places in St Lucia accept 3 currencies, US$ St Lucia$ and East Caribbean$, my trip was doomed to failure and I was off to bad start.

    Anyway I reeled off the massive list of scran to the poor chick behind the till and the order took about half an hour to prepare. Realising that I might have trouble transporting it back to the ship, I commandeered a shopping trolley from the supermarket next door. Finally the food was ready and it was time to pay. As I handed over the large wodge of mixed currency, I watched the chick die a little. She sat there counting out the cash into three piles, one for each currency and totted it all up giving me the change in East Caribbean$.

    I loaded up the trolley and pushed it back to the ship. When I eventually got it all down the mess, there was the usual squabbling over orders; ''I ordered a fcuking zinger not a fillet you fcuking sprog'', but in the end it all sorted itself out. I dished out the change and everyone seemed satisfied with the outcome. Except me, something wasn't quite right, I'd left the ship with a load of cash and dolled out the change correctly, which means I should have no cash remaining, except my own change.

    This wasn't the case, I had over £100 worth of East Caribbean$ left in my hand which I shouldn't have had. Clearly the KFC lady had fcuked up. Being a the cnut that I am I decided to keep the cash as payment for all the stress I had been subjected to getting the order.
     
  13. But to even the odds a little:

    Having just spent 9 hours getting tatted up in the Philippines I left the tat shop and went to catch up with the lads. They had all congregated in the casino. Having been to the Grosvenor in Southsea a few times, I thought I was a dab hand at the roulette and waltzed over to the table like I was James Bond in Monaco. My oppo Jelly was at the table and had a few chips left, he was absolutely blotto drunk and decided to call it a night handing me a fistful of chips, I had no idea what their value was, but going by my experience at Grosvenors's I had about a fivers worth.

    I started laying the chips and I couldn't stop winning. It was like in the movies with chicks gathering round and people bringing me free beers and cigars (the beer had ice in it and the cigars were rank, but that was beside the point) By the end of the night I had a massive pile of chips and was planning what colour Aston Martin I was going to buy with the winnings and in what spectacular manner I was going to resign from the mob.

    I gathered up my winnings and cashed them in, adrenalin pumping, excited at the prospect of instantly becoming a millionaire. The smiling lady behind the desk seemed genuinely pleased for me and congratulated me on 'winning big tonight'. She handed over a small wedge of cash and I looked at it waiting for the rest. The rest didn't come and it slowly dawned on me that each chip was only worth about 10p. I should have realised, in a place where a bottle of San Miguel costs 17 pence and all night in with a bird was a tenner, the casino was hardly going to be any different.

    In the end, I walked away with about 40 quids worth of Philippino money. Gutted.
     
  14. My lifetime of good luck

    1 Found 50 Euros on the street and Dublin but split with my mate who claimed she saw it first (lying cow) = cheap night out

    2 On a vodka tasting session organised by the hostel I was staying at in Krakow, the guy organising it got pissed and forgot to charge us = free night out.
     
  15. Yeah I fuckin dipped in one time, and wasn't I lucky.

    I'm on leave, and driving with the wife and sprogs from Tamworth to West Bromwich, to my other half's mums. (Yes my first marriage was a mixed one I married a Yam Yam).
    So a guy pulls out of a service station and turns right in front of me, and as he does something flies off his roof. He shoots away, I pull up to the object open my door and have it away.
    Its a wallet and it contains,

    £145 cash (a fortune in 1974)
    A season ticket for Aston Villa (worthless)
    £15 worth of stamps,
    A railway ticket (month and just started) from Polesworth to Birmingham
    worth about £40,
    2 credit cards, in those days if you could forge the signature on the back you could use them.
    And last but not least a couple of nodders, and a slip of paper with amongst other things an address in Polesworth.

    So I goes to Sutton nick, tells the bill I have wallet and will return it later when I return to Tamworth as Polesworth is just a click up the road.

    Later that night I arrives at this geezers drum to find a bloke and woman searching around with torches in the garden.
    I asks if he's lost something?, "mind your own fuckin business, what do you think I'm doing the friggin gardening" comes the answer.
    As the bill know I have the wallet I cannot just do one, so I ask him if he would like his wallet back before or after I've broke his fuckin nose, as I am well pissed by his attitude.
    "You have my wallet?" he asks. When I tell him the story of how I have it he calms down. His wife grabs a Tenner out the wallet and says I am a gent etc and please take this small token of appreciation.
    He grabs the tenner, pockets it and shoves a ten shilling (50p) note towards me and says this will cover your fuel. (17p a gallon then or 3/6d)
    I tell him his need is obviously greater than mine and to shove his money up his arse.
    Cunt. :evil: :evil: :evil:
     
  16. Late last Century, the best boss I've ever had was returning to his ship in Singers and Down the back of the taxi seat, he found some Travellers Cheques in an envelope. Despite being a posh scouser (Sefton), he pocketed it. When he later tried to cash them, he was nicked via a well set honey trap. Instant repatriation, diplomatic embarassment and the end of a promising career.
     
  17. Sounds like a scouse travel novel :p
     

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