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I said oops crabs round my bed I said crabs longside my bed.

Rumrat

War Hero
Do the crabs have barriers for the rock apes to play with or is the lack of a barrier why the male crabs keep lifting your willy up and down?

I'm going to ask him that wrecks when rounds have done, so if I don't come back at all you will know for certain that the response was not good. For me anyhow.
Ng I only towed the caravan from Blackpool to home (where I reside now new address) and I did not feel the love.
I have however learned a number of new gestures by hand, been introduced to insult au nationale, and been threatened with being introduced to the delacacies of oblivion without the use of drugs, prescribed or otherwise. Nasty man. And when I asked him was it because I was black? he didn't understand the question as he stood and looked at me as if I was stupid.
It was not a dificult question, he just stared, we just left, thinking why he should think I'm confused.
He probably went home thinking he had met an adonis. A black one ofcourse.
And things just nose dived here they brought a perce nurse on the block, probably drafted in by that bastard gruesome twosome Blackrat and cunt to get me whilst I'm vunerable. Curses of Allah on there white infadel heads.
 

Andy_Cap

War Hero
Rummers, If everything goes to plan I should be in Brummagem start of next week. If I am I will drop by for a quick visit.
Just to make sure that you get all the " attention " you need. I will bring you a sheer shortie nightdress and pink fluffy slippers , to drape over and place before your bed:toothy7::toothy7:
 

Flagdeck

War Hero
Tamworth's finest is back.......................get well soon old man...........and remember......you can't go anywhere without a chit from the buffer.
 

Rumrat

War Hero
Rummers, If everything goes to plan I should be in Brummagem start of next week. If I am I will drop by for a quick visit.
Just to make sure that you get all the " attention " you need. I will bring you a sheer shortie nightdress and pink fluffy slippers , to drape over and place before your bed:toothy7::toothy7:
Cheers mate.
I was told today what I have but I can't pronounce it. Its treated with erythromicin, so I expect I shall be here in the AMU for at least a few more days before I go to the CCU. Its ok down here as its 24 hour visiting. Its just restricted upstairs to I know not what.
So if you find yourself in this here vicinity do drop by, my room has a window about twenty feet in the air and they make me keep the door shut. All it lacks is some big fat bootneck thug shouting "stand by to come out"........
A shortie nightdress eh?, I could do with a new one the crabs keep ripping this one, dirty bastards are fuckin crabs,.. no twatting finesse. Cunts.
You'd love the BP machines in here Andy they play the magic round about when there de pressurising.
 

Rumrat

War Hero
Tamworth's finest is back.......................get well soon old man...........and remember......you can't go anywhere without a chit from the buffer.......................................................
:thumbup:....................................................
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
Just out of interests, do the crabs give you a bed bath or is it a hosepipe and long handled scrubber job?
 

Rumrat

War Hero
Just out of interests, do the crabs give you a bed bath or is it a hosepipe and long handled scrubber job?

On a seriouse note the room I am in has a sink with a tap that prevents you leaning over it to wash. No one has suggested a wash /bedbath to me since I was admitted friday night and if you do want to wash you get a paper bowl to use. My missus being ex QARNNS and civvy nurse is quite capable of sorting out my PH as on your own you would fail miserably.
Back to flippant mode, the crab would probably do personal services, but he's butt ugly.
Some of these nurses are divs though.
Theres a ton of them here from Bath, all civvy. I from Weymouth (crab) I from Pompey ( RN) and a couple from out in the county. The rest locals.
My main washing prob is all the wires attached to me, I look like a fuckin Borg.
 

Rumrat

War Hero
:blob8:Hi, oppo I've sent you a p.m.:wink:


Jesse they just come down the ward and said you phoned cheers for that pal, that's what real oppo's do.
I will bell you very soon and have a good natter on the rag and...
But alas you cannot save me from the return of the crab who is coming back soon to bayonet me twice in the belly. God if I was slimmer I would only get one anti coag as its done on body weight.
Catch you soon jess.
Love and sloppy kisses to leslie and maybe a couple for you. No we aint gay I never push back.
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
:smilebox:Will send you up some tarred oaken to unpick, make you feel at home and while away your time till slopping out

Maybe send him a cotton bush to pick for the real nostalgia bit, and have Camptown Ladies playing in the background for the ambiance...wotcha reckon Rummers?
 

Rumrat

War Hero
Maybe send him a cotton bush to pick for the real nostalgia bit, and have Camptown Ladies playing in the background for the ambiance...wotcha reckon Rummers?

What I recon is that you and that trelawney person have been living amongst the uncivilized bastards down there that long that any vestige of compassion has disappeared, to be replaced by an external veneer of callousness.
Fuck that sounds good, I'm writing the next BBC drama about this poor unfortunate, driven out from the flock, and falling into the cesspit of human dregs (that'd be the RN) and upon leaving, the degradation, abuse, and discrimination he faces. So he fucks off from the family home,......etc etc etc.
Any ways another day now so lets see who I can upset here today, had three good bites yesterday, the bin emptier (black of course, you honky bastards) a nursing trainee (crab named tres) and the staff nurse.
I'm leaving the doc out as yet as she seems clued up and a little bit tasty.(Zambian)
Jesse if you read this I will reply to your PM later today as I have a shit load of tests this morning.
When the staff nurse came and said there was a person called Jesse on the phone I hadn't a clue what she was on about, it was only when she slipped your real name that the penny dropped.
I know today aint all goning to be good as Parcel Force have already refused to deliver the parcel I made for wrecks, so what if it ticks, its just a clock.8)
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
If it's like that last parcel you sent me, it stank of marzipan so I forwarded it on to the Somalian Relief charity thing. They must have liked it as they said it went with a bang over there!
 

Rumrat

War Hero

This is how I look this morning, here's my doctor giving me my shots.
 

BillyNoMates

War Hero
Wishing you a speedy recovery from whatever it is you've got. Please find enclosed 1 x hospital dinner
to help keep your strength up.


 

Rumrat

War Hero
Wishing you a speedy recovery from whatever it is you've got. Please find enclosed 1 x hospital dinner
to help keep your strength up.



Fuckin hell Billy, no wonder you had such a rough time of it when you were banged up in sick bay.
In honesty the scran here is sparse, but well good. The puddings I don't usually bother with, and the tea is fuckin rank. The sarnies they dosh out for tea are motorway look alikes.
Should I eat my nurse?
 

WreckerL

War Hero
Super Moderator
Eat your nurse!! It's taken years of cultural training to beat those cannibal instincts out of you, are you regessing in there?
 
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