'I pretend my house is a ship, and I'm not embarassed...'

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by silverfox, Apr 6, 2007.

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  1. silverfox

    silverfox War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    A colleague of mine used to amuse us by telling us that he made his kids stand rounds in the evening. We used to laugh thinking it was just a dit. Until we went round for dinner one night...... and the 'jack' git was'nt telling stories.

    Anyone else have any tales of navalised domesticity they would like to share.....
  2. Re: 'I pretend my house is a ship, and I'm not embarassed...

    Elder brother on his first leave from St Vincent was forever yelling at us young uns to ''get off the deck''.....took me and brother to boating lake in his full rig.....rolled his sleeves up and put his cap flapajack and missed the oggin completly with the oars falling arse over tit...
  3. silverfox

    silverfox War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    I get mocked publicly for sorting gash.....
  4. I am never ever ever late.

    I have taught my girls at work to speak in the 24 hour clock and use the phonetic alphabet.
  5. I get my son to polish my shoes sometimes does that count ??
  6. Ninja_Stoker

    Ninja_Stoker War Hero Moderator

    Re: 'I pretend my house is a ship, and I'm not embarassed...

    Must confess to returning home from a deployment, put sink plug in, leaning on taps & wonderingwhy the sink didn't fill. Managed to catch myself before calling "Switching On" whilst stepping into shower however.
  7. Re: 'I pretend my house is a ship, and I'm not embarassed...

    but if someone were to yell "Adjusting hot" do you step out dripping wet to avoid a shot of superheated steam/ice crystals.....

    "Ch...chh....cheers you f*cker, how about a shout next time...."
  8. Re: 'I pretend my house is a ship, and I'm not embarassed...

    If thats not "Dutch" (his nickname) then theres two of 'em. He jokes about kit mustering them to improve morale. I remind him that one day his daughter is going to come home with a matelot in tow and ask him if he's ready to be a Grandad. Still it would be more fun if his son does it........ :lol:
  9. What's odd about that.... :oops: :oops: :oops:

    My former boss used to come into the office in the morning and shout:


    This occasionally caused embarrassment when we had women present! :lol:

    When Nutty and Mrs.Nutty visited me at work I absent mindedly inquired if they needed to go to the Heads...... Nutty had to explain to Mrs.Nutty that I wasn't referring to them! :oops: :lol: :D

    When I do something stupid I will say aloud, in-front of whoever is present: "I am bloody rubbish sir!" ....and I'm a civvy! :oops:
  10. In Gib 1972 our Chief Yeoman with three kids, had a roster on the door at home
    Each child had a duty to perform
    and he stood rounds, daily, special rounds on Saturdays and even the new entry idea of a cake for the best mess!

    For the earlier post re showers
    When I attend the gym today I still shout "turning on" when having a shower lol, it is sort of automatic, Pre turn on the shower "shout" "turning on"
    I get some strange looks, I do not know if it is my shouting, my figure OR my old nickname "Chopper"

    Jack McHammocklashing RO9
  11. Re: 'I pretend my house is a ship, and I'm not embarassed...

    I started at a football club, small-ish building with one water heater per set of dressing rooms, when not first in the shower, shouting "turning on/switching on", and pretty soon everyone was doing it. Four years later a new lad asked, "why does everyone do that?" and no-one seemed to know, just that it was a good idea to avoid scalded or frozen nuts. I kept shtum, maybe its not just Jack that does it?
  12. Re: 'I pretend my house is a ship, and I'm not embarassed...

    My kids like cheesy hammy eggies

    We have a pussers style toaster

    and i write a menu every week for my domestically challenged wife for the kids!!!!!!!!!

    Does that count!

  13. silverfox

    silverfox War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Wife came into the kitchen one evening (she gets nervous if its gone quiet and she can't see me..) to find me making cheese on toast for my 6 year old daughter.

    When she enquired as to wtf was going on as the galley was closed, my little girl piped up

    " I couldn't get to sleep so Daddy's making me 9 o'clockers....."
  14. Re: 'I pretend my house is a ship, and I'm not embarassed...

    oh... my... god. apart from clean ship, and action snacks, we don't do anything. The terror makes me watch documnetaries about the might russian navy, so i pretend I'm having recognition slides.

    I've also got an RTT at home, that I have been known to play when pissed... to myself...
  15. Re: 'I pretend my house is a ship, and I'm not embarassed...

    i know an ex pongo who makes his kids call him sir.
    and he never even had a comission lol

  16. Brilliant "sf" , pmsl , :lol:
  17. After having been brainwashed from 63-72 and in the Scottish Police College under training ,I confused my new co-workers when asking them if we were going ashore for a wet or to the canteen for a pair, They thought I was a cunny funt tho, had the last laugh being able to box the bed correctly( No contest I always won!).Main problem I recall was ironing vertical creases in the trousers instead of the 7 inboard/outboard horizontal creases as required by the proper Navy Rig
  18. Still shake the wife when i come back from the pub and ask her if she wants to buy a second hand stand-easy tent.
    Stow my keys, old mailies and porn under the mattress.
    Oh and i still piss in the shower.

  19. Bet she's impressed , lol
  20. Re: 'I pretend my house is a ship, and I'm not embarassed...

    Playing "Eye-spy" in the car with my son on a long boring journey and it was his go.

    Eye spy with my little eye, something beginning with P.L.

    I guessed and guessed for what seems ages, not one to give up, after about 30 minutes I finally conceded, to which he piped up "Punkha -Louvre" whilst pointing at the air vents.

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