I know i shouldn't laugh.....

Discussion in 'The Corps' started by montfish, Sep 8, 2009.

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  1. Exact wording of a text i have just received from Mrs M

    "Got absolutely soaked. Stepped in dog shi'ite. Its even on my trousers"

    Don't laugh - I dare you.
  2. PMSL , the poor sod , bless :cry:
  3. Send her on a mud run to even it up a bit mate!!!
  4. sgtpepperband

    sgtpepperband War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Moral of the story: Don't go dogging in trousers - always wear a short skirt... :twisted:
  5. Mud run??? 90% of the time that would actually kill her.

    Took her on a sunday walk up a 'smally hill' in the pentlands one february, she started off with all her warmers on - (despite my threats and the fact that she weighs about half of me, she's known me since i was 14, so she's not intimidated in the slightest) - and in less than 100m up she was sweating her t1ts off. fast forward to 1km later, she sits down on a rock, gets out MY flask that i made, starts having a wet stop, announces that 'walking up hills is sh_t' and heads off back towards the car park. Like any true bootneck, i turned back and followed her down the hill. sunday walk over, never to be repeated!!
  6. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    Sounds like my missus, she wanted to go yomping on Dartmoor one weekend, fcuk knows why, I certainly didn't. Anyway being a true Gent I loaded up her bergan, took her over Ryders hill and miraculously ended up at the Forest Inn for a pint, at this point she was starting to see the errors of her ways and quickly wrapped when told the nearest place to camp was a good 15k away, job done. Finished my beer and got my old fella to pick us up.
  7. My missus is the same mate but that isnt a bad thing it allows me to go out into the mountains without her company!!! 8)
  8. Snap My Mrs would get a lift to the car if she could.
  9. No, the walk went exactly as i had cunningly planned!

    I 'may' have added a small bag of lead shot to her daysack before we left.
    I 'might' have picked a cold day because i knew she wouldn't take her warmers off before we started.
    'possibly' i may have picked a cheeky little gradient to start with!!

    End result = missus stays at home on sunday and gets the roast beef on, i go for a bimble at my own pace, and come back in time for dinner, simples!
  10. I like your thinking mate. When i first started seeing the missarse i dragged her up a mountain in North Wales with the sole intention of pissing her off so that i would get my weekends in the hills/crags to myself. I still have to suffer the intolerance of a bimble over the Malverns with her occasionally when i'm dragged along like a sulking schoolboy!! :roll: :x
  11. No, the only place i used to get dragged around was the shops, but still sulking like a schoolboy, for me shopping is like a raidex, identify the target from various intelligence sources, approach covertly, acquire the target and get back to base with minimium of time or casualties! I found a seperate joint account soon excused me from SHOPEX
  12. I shall in that case call my unfortunate trips out shopping with the missarse PERVEX as i seem to take the opportunity to do just that!!!

    8) 8)
  13. Ah yes, chatting up the shop assistants while the missarse spends 6 hours trying everything in the shop on.

    That always helps me to endure the toil of shopping.
  14. If you time a mid-week SHOPEX to around 3.30-4pm then it increases PERVEX tenfold as this is when all the schools finish, and the shops are full of young nubile 16yr olds running round the shops in their uniforms. Lovely.
  15. My missus didn't talk to me for about 24 hours when she clocked me twisting my neck off looking at the schoolgirls when I drove past some a while back. She called me a "Paedo" and sulked.

    She got over it.
  16. I like your way of thinking!!!
  17. They often do. Although the boyfriend of a colleague ringing me up and "having a go" at me because his missarse was texting me didnt go down too well as she heard the phone call sometime ago!!!

    :roll: :roll:
  18. wet_blobby

    wet_blobby War Hero Moderator

    Schoolies...dont go there...You see some fit young chick driving a car over here and think "yep, I'd shag that till it snaps" they then park up and jump out in school uniform! little fcukers can drive from 15 years old over here. I could get arrested every day for immoral thoughts............ :oops:
  19. Dear Blobbs, if you could get arrested for immoral thoughts you didn't need to go to the other side of the world, you have always had them as far as I can see.

    A long time ago I was told there was no point being in the garden if you didn't look at the flowers

    I was in town last week on my way to the hospital for my periodic prostate check up and it was quite amazing what they pack into school uniforms these days

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