I Fecking Love Dogs Me


Lantern Swinger
Slightly off topic but WTH.

The six pack on the stbd after services pump let go on a particular O boat I was on. Sprayed seawater, at great pressure I might add, all over the motor which shorted before it could be shut down. Headed into Portsmouth NH and, as per logreq, there was a replacement pump/motor sitting on the jetty. Me and couple stokers stayed back to disconnect and rig out the fcuked unit, rig in the new one, connect it up and test. Anyone who sailed O boats will recall the state of the Bear Pit. The Lub Oil Separator was located above and outboard the stbd after services pump. Consequently, the Bear Pit was covered in lub oil. When we had finished the job, me and the stoker boys looked just like Toby. It was around 2200 so we went straight to the hotel ‘as is’. We were staying at the local Holiday Inn. The receptionist was quite shocked when she looked up and saw three human equivalents of Toby standing in front of her. She was less than pleased when we handed back our completed, but very oily registration cards. But, she was absolutely pissed off when she looked down and saw three set of perfect foot prints, complete with the roundels from the bottom of our bats, indelibly imprinted in the nice red carpet that lead from the door to her desk. To us humble dwellers from beneath the sea it seemed like a conspiracy because the maids were also fcuking annoyed when they had to clean our bath tubs the next day and the bar service was kinda slow for the next two days. Oh well, you know the adage, if you can’t take a joke...;)


Lantern Swinger
Kerrist. Don’t let that rectangular headed twat anywhere near them. Talent like that needs protecting. Whilst we’re at it how did a pair of talentless fucktards such as Ant and Dec amass such fortunes to enable such a large divorce payment ( still one of them is about to lose over half of it, allegedly ) ? The upside is he can hand in those crampons as he no longer needs them to scale the North Face of his missus.
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