I Fecking Love Dogs Me


Book Reviewer
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation.
The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said " So why are you here ?
The yellow Lab replied, " I'm a pisser. I piss on everything.... the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last night when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."
The black Lab said, " So what's the vet going to do ? "
"Gonna cut my nuts off " came the reply from the yellow Lab. "They reckon it'll calm me down."
The Yellow Lab then turned back to the Black Lab and asked " So why are you here?"
The Black Lab said, " I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets.
But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owners' couch."
" So what are they going to do to you ? " the Yellow Lab enquired.
" Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Black Lab said
The Black Lab then turned to the Irish Wolf Hound and asked, " Why are you here?
"I'm a humper," said the Irish Wolf Hound. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts,whatever. I want to hump everything I see."
Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and started hammering away."
The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said, "So, it's nuts off for you too, huh ?"
The Irish Wolf Hound said, " No, apparently I'm here to get my nails clipped.


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