I Feckin' Love Stick Insects Me.

Discussion in 'Diamond Lil's' started by BillyNoMates, May 8, 2014.

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  1. See that all the wuff-wuff stuff has been grouped together, so why can't us Stick Insect lovers be treated with the same kind of respect? I mean....oh hang on, there's already a forum. Sorry about that. Now where do I log in?

    Forums | Stick Insects
    Last edited: May 8, 2014
  2. Ah Billy Stick insects.
    Wonderful pets, don't cost much to feed, you don't get attatched to themwhen they snuff it, when they get ill there are no humongous vets bills, stamping on them cures all their ails.
    They don't shit and piss on the carpet, don't need to be taken walkies and don't hump your wifes best mates leg.
    Wonder why they aint more popular?:alien:
  3. exJenny

    exJenny War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    Little sods are a nightmare if you take them for a walk in the woods.

    • Like Like x 1
  4. If you take your stick insect for a walk, do you throw it dogs to chase after, or is that dangerous in case the dog gets lodged in it's throat?
  5. What happens to all them dead pet Stick Insects.


    [Wholegrain my arse, I got a packet of Twiglets once and I recognised one as being one of mine that had snuffed it. Still had its collar on ffs]
  6. Oh. I thought this was going to be about fashion models.
  7. exJenny

    exJenny War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    They are cooking the baby ones??? Evil bastards!!!

    Boycott Twiglets now!!!

  8. Are your stick insects sharpened in case you need to poke somebody in the eye?
  9. £2.50? WTF? You were seen off matey, whether or not the packet included insects of the sticky variety!
  10. Ah! Phasmid's what interesting creatures. Innit?
  11. I hope they are Halal stick insects...don't want to be queing in Subway and finding that they don't sell a side order of Twiglets.
  12. My beloved dead pet in that packet of so called savoury snack food was a pedigree Winner of Best of Breed at the South Shields Stick Insect Show 2010. Saint Sticky McStick of Sticker, Cornwall, was humanely euthanised in 2011 by a vet after he unfortunately contracted Dutch Stick Insect Disease. I was assured that he would be buried with dignity, and I was saddened and shocked when I discovered his rigid corpse in a bag of Jacobs snacks. I'm currently in negotiations with Jacobs Ltd, and I'm hoping for an out of court settlement running into the millions. I'm also getting information from fellow Stick Insect lovers, that their departed pets are being used as dowel pegs in cheap imported flat pack furniture. Dogs? Cats? Oh yes - let's all stop the cruelty....but Stick Insects? Nobody gives a fuck.
    • Like Like x 2
  13. Billy, you're back on the drugs, aren't you?
  14. Stick Insects - Fascinating Facts.

    1. Celebrities are now ditching their usual pampered pets in favour of Stick Insects. One such celebrity is NICKO MCBRAIN, who is the current drummer in the heavy metal rock band
    *IRON MAIDEN*. An avid collector of these fascinating creatures, Mr. McBain once had a collection of almost 2,000 - until the R.S.P.C.A. were anonymously tipped off that he was
    actually using them as drumsticks at Iron Maiden gigs. Using video evidence, Mr McBain was successfully prosecuted, fined a fiver and banned from keeping Stick Insects for life.

    2. The worlds most dangerous Stick Insect is the Stickus Giganticus of Southern Brazil. These creatures can grow to a length of almost two metres and can weigh up to half a ton. Although the Stickus Giganticus is extremely slow moving, only eats rotting vegetable matter and is not considered to be an aggressive predator - if one fell out of a tree that you happened to be passing under and landed on your head, it will almost certainly kill you.

    3. Unlike dogs, Stick Insects do not die in hot cars. However, they DO die if placed in a microwave oven set to full power for one minute and the resulting mess (after the creatures fatal explosion) is utterly revolting.

    4. If you stick Stick Insects together in a stack with sticky stuff - they become Stuck Insects.

    5. Is your biro broken? Are you a Stick Insect owner? Simple remove the biro refill from the broken plastic casing, stick it up your Stick Insects arse and you have a working ballpoint pen and pet...all-in-one!
    Last edited: May 9, 2014
  15. ......................
  16. exJenny

    exJenny War Hero Moderator Book Reviewer

    ImageUploadedByNavy Net - Rum Ration1399644150.716441.jpg

  17. We had two of those on the 'Massive'
  18. The Royal Entemologists Society and Scientists working at Hull University have genetically modified a Stick Insect. They have taken the DNA of a Stick Insect and combined it with the molecules that make up Teflon and have grown a new breed of the species in a test tube. Now we have Non-Stick Insects.
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